Search This Blog


Monday, December 12, 2016

Tis The Season Of Doing

Happy Monday!

How was your week?

Mine was full of snow (which never happens) and then rain (that always happens) making for a slushy mess of EPIC proportions. I always wonder why when the snow plow goes by and pushes the snow up to the curb, why they are never concerned with covering the sewer grates. Sese and I on Saturday attempted to walk seriously maybe 6 blocks and every curb and intersection had a freezing slushy moat around the concrete.

In hindsight when I shoveled the walkways I should have at least looked for the one in front of my house and cleared it but the piles of plowed snow made that a situation that I didn't even entertain the thought of.

In most places, since I had my boots on I would step and she would just follow in my footsteps which was cute because she isn't 5 anymore and yet as an adult she still does not have shoes appropriate for the weather and yet at the same time...we aren't used to this. Anyway just to go to Starbucks where she orders something cold (Baffling) and to the tiny grocery store took us was longer than expected, longer than the additional length of time we expected and her toes were soaked through and frozen by the time we got home.

Now in the City...In the heart of Downtown Van...nothing...the only snow I see is the snow on cars that have come from somewhere else...somewhere...higher. And it's quite the change! I travel through 5 cities to get to and from work and the change is incredible if you look at it. Lower Port Coquitlam and Coquitlam are pretty even maybe a foot t a foot and a half of snow, then you get to Port Moody and there is SNOW! Burnaby more snow and then Vancouver gradually lessens until there is nothing so you know that if Van has snow on the ground that everywhere else is chaos.

Now if you're into trekking out in the weather there are a few things you could do in these towns while looking for Christmas gifts or simple entertainment.

Affordable Original Arts and Crafts Show - Covan02 Art Gallery is hosting and Arts and Crafts Show in Gastown.

All Together Now: Vancouver Collectors and Their Worlds - Museum of Vancouver.

Christmas in Maple Ridge - Timberline Ranch

If you like to get your drink on you could try,

BC Craft Beer Holiday - Showcasing 8 Unique Craft Beers for the holidays.

Crossroads Hospice Meat Draw - The Arms Pub.

Port Moody's Winter Farmers Market - Port Moody Rec Center.

Now with all of that I should be able to start my Christmas shopping right? Find a Turkey and all the trimmings or well most of them anyway. Still trying to figure out what to bake besides the usual and I think I might attempt Fudge. I can't say that will turn out well but we'll see!

Ok I'm off to continue my day.

Have a great week!

See Ya.

Monday, December 5, 2016

Snow, Baking and Belly Buttons

Hello Lovelies!

Well today is not the average day here in the Lower Mainland although it's a typical Monday. I left to catch the bus and it never came, forgot my glasses had to run home, decided to take the WCE got to waterfront Station and with the Skytrains delayed is was a sardines in a can situation and then...and then...with a packed train car a woman with rolling luggage gets on. The bane of my commuter existence but she crammed herself and her rolling duffel bag into the car and all I wanted to do was kick it.

Now the difference in snow at home vs snow downtown is that snow at home is well...snow while downtown it's more like rain. Yesterday was sunny with the crispness seeping in and I actually liked it. Today though everyone panicked even though on the high traffic areas the roads are not bad. Salt trucks were out in force but only the higher elevations really had to worry. 30 min to 1 hr. delays out of North Van, SFU has no transit running up Burnaby Mountain and there is more snow to come. Today is one thing but tomorrow calling for sun and that with the low temps means ice will be a major problem.

Oh my...did I really talk that much about the weather?

So how was your week? Mine flew by very quickly as December always seems to do making us feel the pressure of Christmas. Christmas Eve is always the day I bake and this year it's on a Saturday which means I have the whole day to work in the kitchen. Usually I have to work a half day so by the time I get home from the city the day is almost gone, but this year I would like to try not only the baked goods but Candy too.

I've never made candy, and I'll probably suck at making candy but I'll give it a try. My problem is knowing what type of candy to make.

I've never made Rum Balls either although Rum and Christmas Eve might not be a good combination seeing as the last time that happened I almost never made a turkey, or got out of bed. The important things to have going for Christmas Eve and Day is coffee, copious amount s of coffee and nibbles lots of nibbles. In my house the biggest issue when baking is keeping the baked good from being eaten as soon as they come out of the oven so that means double and triple batches of everything but thank goodness I will have at least 1 little helper those days.

Oh ya back to candy. What type of candy do you make a Christmas?

Barks and Brittles? Fudge? Minty things?

So many and so much to do to make sure all of the bits and pieces are there. So now that all of this is in my brain I'll have to do some planning and practicing to do. let's not forget the awful X-mas gifts though just a couple of them jumped out at me so far like this one.

The belly button brush for that individual that apparently needs to brush out their belly button. Did someone notice that this person had a lot of belly button lint all of the time?

and this lovely beauty my heart is seizing already from the thought of these. Himalayan Salt Tequila Glasses. $28 for 4 available at Uncommon Goods.

Now they may not be awful but still strange to me.

Ok guys back to the grind and thinking about Candy!

Have a great week!

See Ya 

Monday, November 28, 2016

Furry Friends Need Care Too.

Hello Lovelies!

December is almost upon us and there is a lot to do in the next few weeks. Like shopping... in chaos and we know how much I love to do that!

Not so much...

Now is the time of year that people feel the most charitable as we think of people that either have nothing or have lost everything and have to suffer the holidays unhappy or alone. After the lost of my dog back in July, I thought of how humans get the gift of Charity during this time of year and that our furry friends without homes don't.

All of our dogs are rescues Cali came from A Better Life Dog Rescue. They didn't have a shelter facility but foster homes for the dogs they save. She came from California where she had been shipped between shelters and was in the third one when ABL found her and brought her to BC. Whiskey came to us from a former friend that had taken him after another friend of ours had passed away and then he couldn't take care of him either. Smokey...another who came to us because he couldn't stay where he was. Even 2 of our 3 cats are rescues and I'm allergic to them but their family.

Family that needs to stay away from my face and they all know that and don't even try now. If I put my face anywhere near theirs they look confused! It took a while for Bast because she liked to sit on your chest and literally steal your breathe like the creepy weirdo she is.

The BC SPCA we have dealt with for many different things. I even had to take a dog there once when we couldn't find a home for him because we were moving and couldn't find a place to live with a dog.  We had a hard time getting the cat in anywhere. Now because they have a Kill policy I asked them that if at any point they were going to have to put down our dog ( he was a Pitbull. I say was because it was over 10 years ago and I'm pretty sure he's gone now ) that they could call us so we could either say goodbye or give it a last push to find him a home. When I took him in that day one of the ladies that worked there loved him on sight, smothering him with hugs and talked about how she wanted to take him home herself. She seriously forgot I was in the room as she cuddled him and even in his terror, knowing something was wrong he loved every second of the attention.

I hope she gave him a home.

They stood up for us when we were being accused of neglecting our dogs. We let them into our home they checked every one of them and declared them well fed and well cared for. With that being said what I would like to do is give back to the shelter as we head into Winter so over the course of December I will be stockpiling and collecting donations ( Non Monetary ) for the Shelters and SPCA Thrift Store.

Now Lo and Choo are entrenched deep in Charity work for their organization, more so Lo helping a family in need along with other things on her plate and that made me think more about what I've wanted to do for months now but couldn't figure out where to start. While talking with her about various things she is doing and had to do and bouncing ideas off each other I decided that Procrastination is not my friend for something like this so it's begun. I've contacted both locations that I'd like to donate to and the ball is rolling. One of the locations houses Dogs and the other the smaller animals like Cats, Rabbits and Birds.

Right now I know that they accept toys, towels and blankets as well as other items and the Thrift store takes household items so hopefully somethings can be pulled together. Once I get the specifics back I can let those of you here in my area know what it is I'm looking for. For you guys outside of my area, especially if you have a rescue animal there is more you can donate to your local shelter to help the fur-babies!

Like this one...
This is Karma hopefully in her forever home as a friend is trying to make her his. She makes me miss my girl but who knows maybe I'll bring home a puppy!

I'm kidding! I am soooo not there yet.

Have a great week.

See Ya

Thursday, November 24, 2016

Taste Testing-Quaker Harvest Breakfast Bar

And that's just what I did.

I stepped off of my bus part of my daily hour and fifteen minute commute from Port Coquitlam to Vancouver and was greeted with a smiling woman as she put a box of Quaker Harvest Breakfast Bars in my hands and wandered away doing the same thing to everyone that she passed. Now who am I to turn down a free breakfast and seeing as the only Oatmeal product I eat is Quaker Oatmeal the staple of the oatmeal world, I took them gladly!

I knew as soon as I took the box that by the feel of how heavy it was that I was in for something that was going to stick to my ribs and that's good right? Less hungry and fuel to keep me going I can get to lunch at 1pm and considering my day starts at 5:30 and work starts at 8:30 it's a long wait . Sometimes I eat breakfast when I get to work but most days not but if I do get peckish I steal fruits and veggies from my co-worker who is always in abundance of them for her breakfast.

Today though I have the Apple and Cinnamon goodness to try and I took my first bite...

Are you familiar with Protein bars and how dense they can be?

This might actually be more dense than they are. All of the apple and cinnamon flavour was there large and in charge and very comforting with it's 5g of fiber and 23g whole grains being made with real fruit. (Yes I took that right off the box.)

It did take me almost 45 minutes to eat the little square though because it was so thick and filling. I would have to put it down after each bite and only pick it up again when the cinnamon flavour had lessened in my mouth. I feel that maybe it would be better warmed though and I was a little surprised by the amount of filling in the center. It was full alright but being cold was more than likely why it took me so long to eat it because it seemed almost doughy or not completely set.

All in all though it was pretty good! Now my stomach can make all of those digestive noises as it breaks it down making my co-worker think I'm hungry when I'm not forcing me to wave her bowl of fruit away.

The next time I eat one I'll have to warm it up and see if there's a difference.

Monday, November 21, 2016

And The Kids Were All Right.

Happy Monday! Is something I won't say today.

I woke up, rolled over, checked the time and had a heart attack.

I slept in an hour past the time I usually do! Now I've done a half hour and still been ok but an hour??? You know the hard thing about waking up that late and being in a rush??? It's like the one time EVER that you can't get your dogs out of bed to go outside and even then I only got Smokey to go and he took forever. Then I'm thinking as I look at my laundry basket that has not only clean but mildly dirty clothes in it that I couldn't believe I forgot to do laundry...or fold laundry...or put away laundry and then realized that I actually could believe it as I dug around in a hurry. That's when Whiskey decided it was his time to go out.

OMG did I let him back in????

Well a text message home just clarified that I did in fact let the little dog back in before I left but...forgot my coffee, in the travel mug...on the table. Thanks Monday you're in rare form today! At least it's not raining...yet anyway. Ugh and I didn't bring an umbrella just in case. Oh well maybe some luck will be on my side. 😖

Anyway how was your weekend? Mine consisted of children PK and Coop.

I realized after a birthday party for a 2 year old at Jungle Jacks that...I'm old and children are crazy. Ok wait, some children are crazy. I got exhausted not just from watching them but watching their parents chase after them. I have to say that most of them had a good eye on their kids and there were a lot of kids.

My bestie and her husband switched off chasing after their son as most of the couples did and I noticed not only was the ratio of boys to girls 3-1 but that the men there as well outnumbered the women by 2-1 leading me to believe that it's the place for fathers to burn off the energy of their sons.

It was finally cold for November here and as you hit the front door of the place you get the wind blasting you from all sides but the view of the mountains with fresh snow on them made it almost serene...if you could open your eyes and look at them with tears streaming down your face. Go through the door and there is immediate sensory overload with squeals and screams of happiness. Not mine of course but at least they weren't screams of terror or tantrum It's been probably 18 - 20 years since I've been in a place like that and wow...memories as well as happiness that my kids are grown and I only have to show up and survive it.

Surprisingly there were very few screaming children. There were happy screaming kids and that would make me smile when I heard the happy squeals and really...some kids were pretty cute! The little girls in their cute dresses and pigtails and the boys...little lunatics but they were all having fun! Except this one little girl when we were checking in. She was the epitome of child drama. She wanted in the place and past the locked gate to get to the play area so badly and because of the wait to get in she was throwing herself on the floor and rolling around wailing in distress. Wailing I tell you and I laughed because her mother was laughing too.We get in and find some tables to push together, gather the chairs and what do I see but the same little girl who had finally gotten into the play area still wailing and rolling on the floor in front of her mother as she walked slowly behind her paying no one else any mind as she shook her head still smiling but before long her and her daughter were off and running. Besides the jungle apparatus there is an arcade, bumper cars, trampolines and a laser tag arena.

I got to play look out while my besties mom tied some elf legs together that were hanging out the back of a car. Hey we needed to have fun too you know...

 I did get to hang out with a couple of old friends and that was nice and see how their kids have grown. The last observation I made on the day was how many faces I see around my town everyday that were there with their children.

So I'm going to get back to cataloging my Monday through a series of disasters I'm sure that I'm destined to have today just to try my patience.

Have a great week!

See Ya

Monday, November 14, 2016

The Backside Of Fall.

Hello Lovelies,

I'm home today and as I sit here watching The Breakfast Club ( yes guilty pleasure ) I'm glad the sun is shining as we go into the backside of Fall. The dogs are curled up in front of me and the house is practically empty. Practically meaning Brina isn't home and her presence amounts to double the occupants at any time because her energy is that encompassing. The house smells like Carrot muffins and making me realize how hungry I am now!

It's the little things right?

Saturday I watched PK for a bit and as he's almost 4 you can see how much more he understands and how smart he is. Besides the fact that he can be a monster he is very wise and logical for his age. Even though he is driven by emotion you can rationalize with him and that truly amazes me. You'd thing that the same revelation happened with raising mine but it was a long time ago that they were that age and being in it everyday is so much different than seeing him at one stage one day and then seeing him blow past it the next time I see him.

With Choo and Lo out doing their Charity things I spend more time working on the things that propel me forward you know the adult things and since the end of the year is approaching so quickly 6 weeks that's it, my thoughts get brought back to the past year and trying to improve on it in the next but that's Decembers chore...besides the holiday season that shall not be named. I'm toying with the idea of a New Years Eve pot luck or doing it in January to celebrate the new year, to add another annual tradition for the kids and make the Winter months less drab. I'm sure you'll know when I do.

So off I go to get some other work done. I just wanted to make sure I got something in this week!

Have a great week,

See ya,

Monday, October 31, 2016

Happy Halloween 2016!

Happy Halloween Lovelies!

I'm pretty sure most of you had your celebration on the weekend like I did for yourself and tonight is the night for the kids.

Now thank goodness my kids are all grown and I won't have to go out in the miserable weather to take them trick or treating but at the same time I miss those moments, like when B was 2 her first trek around the neighbourhood dressed as a cute lil pumpkin and we got to a house and she was being potty trained at the time ( no Pull Ups in those days ) and when they opened the door instead of Trick or Treat she simply said "I peed..." they laughed, we laughed and she scored. Or Sese getting many purple balloons pinned to her to make her a bunch of grapes when she was 5, unfortunately we couldn't fit her in a jacket so keeping her warm was our main concern but she was a champ and getting candy so she felt nothing except for an intense need for sugar. Or once having a neighbour wearing a scream mask and literally having to drag my kid to the door she was so scared one year. He apologized to her profusely and filled her bag because she was crying...ok not crying pleading for her life.

That same year though there were a large group of us about 7 or 8 adults and 11 children going out together. We planned it nicely while we had our thermoses of coffee and cocoa ( it was cold that year but dry ) and we were a trick or treat mob. I miss those days...

Now they are adult women and their costumes reflect that...where have my babies gone..

That being said with them being adults we have now just had our 4th annual Halloween party and it was a success. I get them to play a game every year and this year I thought I was prepared but they were quick! Petrified Pyramid was the game and fast on their feet were they. So fast I had to stop and add things. Next years game will be much more difficult.

Prizes were given for Best Costume and Best Couple Costume and a dance party came to life.

I asked them all a question about their happiest Halloween memory and I still have to put the video together because I've never had to deal with so many clips before but it will be done by the end of the day because upload times vary so it will be up at some point and well video is not my strong suit especially since I had to put them together first. Fingers crossed.

Some of them weren't happy though, they were sad but I guess a memory never the less right?

Check out my Instagram ( tab at the top ) for photos. Those of you on my FB have probably already seen most them because of my frantic uploading on Sat night. but there are some that were not sent there just for this reason!

Now with Halloween almost behind us and November set to start it's 2 months today until New Years Eve. My second favourite non holiday of the year!

Have a great week!

See ya

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Finding My Flow

I just realized that I haven't blogged this week yet!

That's ok because I've been able to focus on writing, which I stopped doing for a few minutes so that I could let you know that.

It's funny when characters in your story that are secondary become something you are almost more interested in and their growth and journey is so much more than the lead characters. So this next post of CF will be elegantly brutal if that's possible and a test of writing it that way too.

For me this is a very long journey but the process needs to flow and not be forced so I write when the flow is there. Every time I try to sit myself down with the mindset have my fingers rush over the keys I just can't.

I have found though that I prefer to write by hand and then enter my words to computer effectively editing as I go...and then again before I post and it makes me feel special for those of you that are looking for new entries. I try to stay ahead of it but it's hard to keep up sometimes. I had said I was going to pull back a bit to lessen the pressure of everything I've put on myself and it's helped because the story came back to me.

So just a brief hello and back I go as something terrible is about to happen to someone who deserves it.

Have a great week!

See Ya

Monday, October 17, 2016

A Helping Hand and Geek Girl Issues...

Hello Lovelies!

It's a nightmare outside right now. Rain that goes right through you and yet it's still warm out for the most part.

How was your weekend? I got 2 days with my little Peanut and he is growing so fast and talking a mile a minute. Sometimes he reminded me of Stuart from Mad TV except instead of "Look what I can do!" it's "Hey watch this!!" and I've realized that I may have had my kids young but I'm glad I did because keeping up with his energy level is effort to say the least. And no matter how much energy you think you have, the energy you need to spend chasing a 3 1/2 year old around is tremendous. He talks super fast just like his mom and his Auntie B so it's not only a physical energy but a mental one too and for all of his hyper activity and energetic stories when that kid wants to be a lovable cuddle monster that's exactly what he is.

I suck that up.

So besides the oodles of cuddles, on Friday I helped make sandwiches for a Charity function Lo and Choo were doing on Saturday night and that went well and I was glad I could help.

Then decided well Craig decided that he had to show me his Apple TV and make me watch things, now that being said we have Netflix and Crave so between all three it's either there's too much to watch and we can't decide or we just can't find anything. We had Shomi was useless (and apparently going out of business ) so switching to Crave was a much easier choice. Now since then I have binge watched Kingdom, Orphan Black and now watching 19-2 but the comic book Geek Girl in me really wanted it for the Agents of Shield. The remote for the Apple TV is so sensitive that if you breathe on it you either fast forward or rewind about 10 mins that was a pain.

Wait I drifted away from where I was going though...

Apple TV...Craig got me to watch X-Men - Apocalypse. I've always been an X-Men lover be it comics or movies and unfortunately this one fell flat for me but I have to say that when it comes to the Marvel Universes I wish they would stay in just 1 maybe 2 semi-rational worlds. For instance and I'll only give 1 example or we'll be here all day.
Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch are twins, Magneto's children ( first thought ) but in the last 2 X-men movies Quicksilver ( love him ) seems to be an only child. Never mentions a sister, while over in the Avengers movies they are together and Quicksilver dies. I know the two franchises are completely separate from each other, separate worlds, separate chaos but they are family and you would figure that the X-Men franchise would have had that continuity and not so much the Avengers even though but I am aware of the problems with parentage that happened between the 2. Magnetos children and then it turned out they weren't mutants ect, ect. The one thing that remains though is that they are twins in one franchise but not the other.

Ok GG is back in the box and kicking because I've muzzled her for now.

I spoke to a friend that in passing said she was going to drop off some old towels at the SPCA which made me think of how humans are so much the issue of charity and how the animals in there need help too. A few years ago I applied to volunteer my time there and actually never received anything communication back from them but oh well I can help in other ways right? My only problem would be wanting to bring some of them home but I couldn't I'm not quite over Cali yet. Dogs are so close to my heart the pull to find ways to help them is strong at this time of year when it's dark and dreary.

Anyway our monsoon season has definitely begun, we were in line for 3 storms this weekend each one to be nastier than the last. There were power outages and thank goodness they weren't in my neighbourhood but the wind did quite the number leaving 75,000 without power and it didn't even kick off the way everyone had feared. I'm not sure if it can get any wetter out there but it sure is trying.

Have a great week!

See Ya

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Comfort, Coziness and Craziness!

Well hello October!

    I must say that October is probably my favourite month of the year even though I can see my breath now and there's is frost in the morning before the sun comes out and melts it away but the colours and the need to be cozy makes it worth it. What sucks is the second season of blackouts we'll probably have.

    We just had Thanksgiving on Monday and this year it was a small affair but the first of many seasonal events. Yes it gets dark earlier and the official time change doesn't happen until November like it really matters because it will get dark naturally anyway but I'll gladly take the extra hour of sleep. Even then though my body wakes up after a certain amount of sleep so I guess I'll be up earlier? Whatever, it doesn't matter Fall is here and comfort foods, prime-time viewing, and the Fall purge. Unfortunately the riding season is over for me as I whisper promises of time together next season to my bike.

Yes I know and I don't care.

    Seeing as Choo has been riding her for the past month because his bike needs to be fixed I felt the need to reassure her that it was temporary. Little alarm bells went off when he told me how much he likes riding her though but I figured that at least she was getting run though before she gets put away this weekend. Over the Fall and Winter months I get to decide and budget for the things I need for my other girl and she's a project alright and I have time to get her right.

    Enough of that! Halloween is coming and my excitement grows with every passing day so the decorations will be crafted and put up around the house to pull the magic of it together which will be posted on my Instagram @stephwell or Tumblr at the link above in the pages.

Ok I'm gone, lots to do!

See ya!

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Taking It Easy's going to be short and sweet...

All I can say is that I have a lot to think about and a lot to do. I'm trying to make sure I do the right things and you know be responsible and shit. Which I am (most of the time)!

Stress level is getting too high and that's never a good thing even on a normal basis. Crohn's disease makes it less of a good thing. When I start to feel those twinges of pain and a loss of appetite that I know are caused by stress I know I have to gear down before I get to the point where it will be harder to turn it back. The funny thing is that most of the time I forget I have it because I've been in Remission for so long.

Intense anger kicks it into gear right away once the adrenaline wears off.

Food triggers will have me down and out for about 3 days but those are few and far between.

Stress...well that's the tricky one but I usually have a handle on that one too. I don't freak out or lose my mind. I'll get annoyed and push it aside, I accept what's happening and try not to let it weigh me down...wait I don't let it I pretty much refuse. Hold me back in some cases temporarily but not weigh me down. When there's that one person you REALLY want to talk to but you can't because they don't know what to say or they just don't care and if they don't then why do you want to talk to them?

So that's what's going to happen.

As the days rolled on I thought alot about my last post and the Beast and about how I said it was full, which it is... I was imagining what it would look like because the tattoo thing stuck with me and  I almost think that acknowledging it is what made the twinges start as I filtered through everything it's full of ...and there is too much...crap. I can completely understand how people snap.

I laugh alot, I have good days and quiet ones I very rarely have bad days. Bad moments, sure but who doesn't?  I have plans and goals and responsibilities along with every other person and you never realize how many little things can build up and how big things blow up when you don't even notice it's there!

So that being said I will still be here every week although my posts might not start off the week because being here...helps believe it or not.

One day someone will tell me "It's all going to be ok."

I also never realized how many times I say that to other people.


Ok get out of here.

See Ya!

Monday, September 19, 2016

The Beast On My Shoulder

Hello Lovelies!

I'm back from Vacation and as usual when I'm on Vaca I'm on it from everything. I use Facebook minimally, I disappear from the Twitterverse, Blogging and Instagram...well Instagram gets used a bit but besides that it's like going dark.

Let there be light again!

It was a relaxed week. I rode when I could and still have issues that I'm frustrated with myself over though. I accomplished a few things that I was determined to do around the house while I was off but there is so much more to do and organize. I got my tattoo done so that makes #5, My PS4 got some usage as my gamer girl kicked in and with Choo in Edmonton on that weekend I slept smack in the middle of the bed and ate Sherbet for dinner, in bed, right out of the tub while binge watching Scream and Dominion and it was GLORIOUS!

My first thought was just to post on Tuesday and get it out there but instead I decided to wait and fill up with my thoughts with...wait for it...FALL! Yes I know there are still a couple of weeks left of Summer but Fall is my favourite season and the weather has been changing, the air has been changing, kids going back to school everything screams Autumn with coziness and comfort foods and not waking up in the middle of the night covered in sweat.


Let's pull to a screeching halt now...

I started this post around 2 weeks ago, Now I could have hit the backspace button but it's Monday and so far kind of awful so I decided screw it, why go back?

I hadn't realized that it had been so long since I was here last. Last Monday I was home sick and stuck in bed for 2 days. My laptop was beside me but I had no energy to make my brain or fingers work. So now feeling better with Fall coming only 3 days away my nesting season has kicked into gear. Fall is when I feel crafty and comforted and with the ups and downs my family has had in the past few weeks I have decided to fully throw my attention into projects that I have yet to finish as well as those I have to begin. ( I think I say this every year. )

I've been annoyed and angry, emotional and heartbroken and with each occurrence I find more and more that I have to tell myself to breathe, let it go and not hang onto it.

Ok so I can do that but it feels like those emotions of late are just kind of left hanging there like a hazy cloud right behind me, not in my way but just there. Maybe that's because I haven't been filtering them through adequately? On some days I feel a bit lost, like I've lost control of some inner beast that keeps me level. I call it a beast because it takes on the things that I have no control over or have to move on from... and although it consumes those stresses, it lives to protect me from them. ( Sorry writers imagination. No less true though. )

Having Chrons' Disease taught me early on that stress is the worst thing for me so over the course of my life it's been fed alot and in turn I've stayed in remission.

After a weekend of putting things into perspective and organizing the day to day I feel back on track and yet I had no real idea of how much stuff I actually have to do! Thank goodness I have help for the big stuff.

That brings me back to today and it's raining and I was wet, late for work and there was no coffee but that's over, coffee in hand and words written has made me content for now.

While I'm feeling confident and determined to put everything together, my beast sits on my shoulder curled up with one eye open waiting to be fed some more, but it's gotten fat over the past few weeks so I think a diet is in order.

And I think I just found my next tattoo...

Have a great week guys!

See Ya

Monday, August 22, 2016

Critter Tales Smokey Vs Skunk

Happy Monday Lovelies!

    It's been awhile since there has been a critter tale so you're in luck!

    Saturday we had a BBQ. It was Fight Night where so we decided to have Wings and Potato skins with various other good food items. Now I'm not much into the UFC but any reason to have them together works for me. Saturday was upwards of 30 degrees so it was way too hot for the oven to go on so I figured it would be a good idea to cook them on the BBQ. That being said I have never cooked either item that way. It turned out good though, the only thing I have to remember next time is that I'll have to spray the tin foil so things don't stick.

    After everyone left I waited until about 11pm and went to have a shower and get ready for bed. Part of that ritual is letting the dogs out for their last pee of the night. As usual Smokey went down first and I had to go back in the house for Whiskey because he's close to deaf now and doesn't know it's time. Yet I still call him like he can hear me and get frustrated when he doesn't come until I remember he can't hear me and almost can't see me either as he loses his eyesight...but I digress. When I came back out on the deck I saw Smokey in pee stance and helped lead Whiskey towards the stairs.

    Whiskey went down and Smokey came up, again as he normally does and he went and sat down in the kitchen on the rug I had no other indication that there was something wrong. That's when the smell wafted past me...but it was too late...he had been in the house, 3 feet away from the back door for under 30 seconds...

    ...and it was all over.

    As I got Smokey out of the house and was dry heaving while trying not to touch him, Whiskey came in for the very first time triumphant that he wasn't the one that had instigated the Fart Squirrel as Lo calls them. But the damage was done and Smokey was oblivious. For almost 2 hours I  debated on whether to bathe to dog right then or wait until morning while I sat on the front step with the door wide open. the back door had to be closed and locked because Smokey is smart enough to open the closed door but not smart enough to realize that a skunk isn't a cat. I knew that if I bathed him that night I would smell like skunk for days and it was bad enough already. I'll smell it for days and I could even taste it so even though Smokey had never stayed outside all night since we've had him ( because he's a whiny baby ) he had to stay outside. thank goodness Lo was in a drunken coma because her room faces the deck and her window was open and grand baby boy was passed out too.

    They escaped the thick of it.

    So frustrated and angry mainly because I had just had a shower. I wrote a note for Lo knowing that she might wake up in the middle of the night and see him out there thinking that someone left him by mistake when they went to bed, and if it wasn't for my note she almost did exactly that.

    I went to bed where Choo had lit probably every scented candle we had in the house so the hallway smelled like Cake and... well skunk but the bedroom was pleasant. Still it took forever for me to fall asleep. Well, then I wanted cake. Finally I drifted off and woke up in the morning with a plan. As soon as the store opened I was going to buy some Skunk Be Gone. Not perfect but better than trying the household remedies because I just wanted something that worked, not something I was going to have to see if my proportions were right and possible the Internet would be right. plus it was cheaper than buying the ingredients for the home remedy.

    Off to Bosley's we went and I instead found a spot treatment spray called Odor Out where you only spray the area that has been fouled...yes fouled. It would be one thing to douse and bathe the boy but the oils would spread and he would just smell everywhere so for my back and my sanity I decided to spray him.

    Have you ever seen a 60-65 lb Pitbull with a spray bottle aimed at him?

    Biggest scaredy cat ever.

    Trying to hold said Pitbull in one spot while trying to not let him touch you for your own fear of getting any foulness on yourself and spray him with it. A fight for sure. If it was something else I could have just sat on him and forced his submission to treatment but the rubber gloves and the spray bottle had this dog trying to back peddle between the bars on the railing if he could have fit his fat butt through them.

    I attacked him 4 times throughout the day because the spray had to dry completely and after a while he smelled better but still smelled. Judging by the spray pattern he must have been practically right on top of it because the skunk got him under the front left leg. In his leg pit. Is that a leg pit? I'm calling it a leg pit. After his traumatic night outside, his lonely whining sad self, and after trying to eliminate the smell from the house, (Hello Pine Sol!) I decided that I could let him in as far as the kitchen and he didn't smell too know...unless he moved.

    So although it tore my heart a little bit...last night I took Cali's bed and put it in the kitchen next to the gate so he could lay on something soft. I put it down and he sniffed it did a circle or two and laid down facing me, looking pathetic and sad with his big brown eyes looking up and me while Whiskey stood next to me, sniffs him just to turn his back and walk away.

Little does he know he's getting attacked again once I get home because if he ever hopes to leave the kitchen an re-enter the rest of the house he'll have to deal a bit more torture.

Smokey vs Skunk...

The Skunk always wins

Have a great week!

See Ya

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Monday, August 15, 2016

Yet Another Lesson To Be Learned


For once I don't have much to say!

The weekend was hot... that's all there was to it. By the time the heat went down we were too drained to really do anything. As we sat on the deck though on Saturday the news feed came through about bear attack just on the other side of town from where I live. A 10 year old girl was dragged off by a bear.

Bystanders saw it happen and rushed in to save her. She was in Critical condition, now Serious but Stable condition and despite also people blaming humans for leaving...what did they call it...bear attractants they said that it was a case of the wrong place and wrong time. I feel for that child and I feel for the bear. A Mama bear and its cub that is now left motherless because the bear had to be killed and at the same time a father almost left without a child because of that bear. What I'm about to say next will seem so wrong to some in their outrage at the gall of the BEAR...oy.

In the face of what happened...where we live, especially on the North Side of Port Coquitlam...there...are...bears... this is not new and now it's even being rumoured that the father had been warned about the bear before he took his walk with his daughter. If that's true then the guilt he must be feeling is tremendous.

In Alberta they are to the point of killing wolves for the same thing, looking for human food and if you know me then you know how I feel about wolves.

My own daughter B has been cornered twice by a bear, thank goodness it didn't have cubs. Once she even had to call the police and fire dept. at 11 or 12 yrs old because they couldn't get past it, but that time the bear didn't care about them, just sat there, eating leaves or berries. All I remember is her coming home in a patrol car and I thought she was in trouble. Walking into my own fenced back yard one night, B tried to call me and warn me that a bear was eating the pears off of our tree, it never bugged the neighbours dog that was tied outside barking at it. I never got the message and it was dumb luck that I came through the back and he was gone but, he came back and Sese was stuck in her boss's truck for about 20 mins or so until it went away.

I know it's awful and that little girl will be scarred for life in more ways than one and in a place where their habitat has been stripped away piece by piece people need to be even more careful. Between the bears and the coyotes protection is a must. My only other question is that in a place where young kids use bear spray on other kids in fights because as far as I'm concerned they're dumbasses is why aren't people in our area more protected?  Or any area where bears are frequent. We live next to a river that if you follow the trail leads up a mountain to Crystal Falls. Then you have the city about to charge fines if...

 Infractions include leaving out garbage bins outside of designated hours and failing to pick up fruit that has fallen from trees or bushes on properties.


bylaw officers will also hand out fines if the fruit is still attached to the plant but is ripe enough to pick.


The city says it has handed out nearly 60 fines worth $500 each this year to residents who have left out 'bear attractants.'

Yes making sure you're safe is the most important but how do you repel  something that is essentially just hungry and in that bears state of mind it was hungry AND protecting it's cub? It's a mixed bag and this came up when we were talking about all of the animals and insects that we don't see anymore that used to be prominent here (Grasshoppers, Catapillers, Deer...) and the ones we never used to see but see a lot of now (Squirrels I do not remember seeing so many squirrels growing up then again they had more trees and distance to live in).

Either way there was ALWAYS the bears...and the raccoons...and the skunks. Everything is forever expanding and for now anyway the bears will still be there.

2 Black bears shot in PoCo and 4 between PoCo, Port Moody and Coquitlam, a Conservation Officer was transferred because he refused to shoot a bear cub and all because they're hungry and have no place. Now I'm not saying feed the bears that would be stupid. Take precautions though and be educated about where they've been seen and where they frequent and as I've just been reminded, if you're a woman it's probably best if you don't go for a stroll on the trails or in the woods if it's that time of the month.

You Miss will be asking for trouble and not just from bears.

Well so much for not having much to say today and different for me. I was going to take out that first sentence but I rarely remove anything I've already typed. 

Another quirk.

Ok guys have a great week!

See Ya 

Monday, August 8, 2016

Maybe The Crazy Is Real?

Hello Lovelies!

This Monday is a little bit relaxed as much as the week was. Things were quiet except in my head as usual but at least it wasn't a chaotic tornado of thoughts. They were all orderly with a problem and hopefully a solution. I say hopefully because I haven't actually tried to put the solutions into action yet to see if they will work.

I'm always thinking about a life change because I'm still in a place that I don't want to be and fantasizing ( which I do very well ) about where to go and how to get there. What I want to be doing and not doing has a constant place in my brain. I always do what I have to but not necessarily what I want to. Yesterday I did literally nothing, I could have... should have... but had no urge to. The house was practically empty so no riding, and with no one home to distract me, my thoughts were like tendrils of smoke twisting around each other and merging in some places while flying free in others. Maybe that was the point, to be left alone with my thoughts and try to wade through them.

None of it was bad or depressing, all of it had a level of impatience and yet patience at the same time. I'm not in a rush at all and yet I feel rushed to progress in so many things but there are boundaries and that keeps me solid and grounded in my mind most of the time. But there is order and no order at all, it's like I can't win but I'm not trying to or trying hard enough so maybe...just maybe the crazy is real.

That quiet crazy I've been told I have.

2 steps forward and 1 back right? Except that I'm not going backwards... some of it takes a courage that I have to build up to and I'm ok with that because the reward will be so much better for me if I can take the fears that I have and can push past them to get to what I want because the only person that can push me to do me. I tell myself at work that I should take it one thing at a time and really that works for like an hour because I'm a multi-tasker.

So now that that is out of my system...or not, we can move on!

Oh! I did see Suicide Squad with the brood on Saturday and I don't care what anyone says I loved it. DC still had some randomly placed the plot, but the ensemble cast was worth it for me and I thought they worked well together. The critics were ruthless with the movie as they seem to be with DC but from the ones I've seen from the DC Universe, although I do like most of them for their dark side, Suicide Squad was the one I have enjoyed the most. I also enjoy that there is a Superstore right there so I could get a huge bag load of candy that I shouldn't eat, which is actually 4 bags of candy thrown into one bag and making about a five pound bag. Woooooo!

So it's a short one today so I'll leave you with this link to a Scottish man roasting DT it might make your day!

Have a great week!

See Ya

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

The Show Never Ends!

Hello Lovelies,

    How was your weekend? Here we had a long weekend because of BC Day and that's why my post is on a Tuesday this week.

    Sitting here and thinking about the past few days, coffee in hand  while I wait for the rain to start I'm trying to filter through everything that's happened. A lot between young life drama's, older life drama's and getting off the couch and out of the house, writing and of course me learning to ride.

Not necessarily in that order.

    The young drama...oh how simple it is...but you know not for them while they're in it. I think back to when I was 21 or so and the things going on with my group of friends was very similar to what's happening for the girls and yet all on completely different levels. As logical as they can be sometimes the wrong choices are made, sometimes the right ones even though they seem wrong but none of them treat things like it's the end of the world in that dramatic fashion most girls have. Sometimes I'll listen to the 3 of them talking. They'll be on the deck or downstairs having their sisterly chats and I'll just stay back and listen to them make each other laugh as they talk about things going on for them and then they will get into more serious discussions that they won't all agree on but they listen to each other's points.

     I've been playing with a post in mind to give you more insight into the crazy zoo that is my life. Hopefully to give you a better picture of the diverse personalities in that world and how every one of them can bring a smile to my face even when they're being ridiculous. They are my heart, my soul and my life and the others around me are my universe, always in motion and yet keeping me steady, keeping me whole. And...sometimes slightly crazy and frazzled.

    And then there's you guys, you're there all the time and you deal well with my ramblings no matter how crazy or random they are, you support me when bad things happen even though I never see you, you remind me that I'm never alone. Not that that's possible because to be alone I would have to lock myself in the bathroom and really that doesn't work either because I'm Mom. In truth when I am alone I have no idea what to do with myself and wonder where everyone else is.

Ok well... that was not where I was headed...

    In other weekend news I did more riding this weekend that ever and it was as I would say a complete and utter gong show and in my defense I was utterly unprepared so some of the things that happened and there's so much that happened that I don't even think I can spit it all out here so let's go to the bullet points.

  •  Even though I know how to not stall my bike it seemed to be all I did. I can pull away from the curb with no problem but get me to cross traffic or turn into it and my brain apparently forgot everything. Choo was super patient with me while I cursed and swore at myself.
  •  My girl was seriously hard to turn on Sat. It turned out I only had half the tire pressure I should have had in the front tire and the back was low as well. Once that was fixed she was easier to maneuver.
  • Know a guy, owns a bike shop,  apparently my pegs weren't set properly so he fixed them. You wouldn't have thought that something so small would make such a difference but then my footing was different and that was something I had to familiarize myself with too on top of wearing proper riding boots for the first time.
  • Leaned my bike over because of an asshole trying to rush me out of the way but yay me that I held her enough to gently put her down and afterwards I was told by every single person there to not let the pressures of other people on the road get to me.
  • Another friend there took me out to show me how to shift gears and again I stalled continuously, again angry with myself and all he said over and over was that I had all the time in the world. Now when your trying not to slow down traffic it doesn't feel like all the time in the world that's for sure.
  • At one point I forgot I even had feet because I was moving and they... were not on the pegs. I have no idea what happened all. That was a first. 
  • We're not going to talk about what I realized shifting gears.
    I scared Choo to death a couple of times but hey...I survived and so did he. With the help of everyone I had been around that day I thought back to all of my mistakes, especially about the ones I shouldn't have been making. Everyone is super supportive and telling me not to worry about those things and that I'll get them in time, that I just need more seat time.

    Well great and I get that but it doesn't stop me from dissecting every second of it.  I didn't feel well when I first went out, getting frustrated with myself made things even worse and feeling pressure where there wasn't any all contributed to my loss of focus in trying to learn new things while holding on to the ones I had practiced so much but couldn't make work, so the next day I asked Lo if she would go out for a little putt-putt with me. Just a circle, only right turns because I needed the room to shift, to turn and to get over my apparently uncomfortable view of traffic so I chose an area that had two roads with frequent traffic and 2 cross streets where traffic would be at a minimum. We both went about riding in a different frame of mind. She was not open to it when she learned 9 years ago where it's all I want to do right now so I'm confident in riding with her that regardless of the difference in our mindsets that she knew where I was at and how I was feeling.

    After the first time around I saw simple mistakes I was making. The next time around I would correct them and then notice others like why 2 of the roads I was turning onto for some reason I would turn wide, so wide I would be in the other lane. Thank fully those were on the roads with no traffic and yet in the main roads I would still turn wide but end up riding the yellow line. After a couple of hours of repeating the patterns in my head I could see that "Look where you want to go" was in full play there. The main roads had the lines and although I was looking at them so that I didn't veer into the other lane I should have been looking further forward in my own lane.

    On the other 2 streets I was looking at the far side of the road because there are no lines on those ones so my turns were wider. At least that's what I think it is...I hope that's what it is because I'm definitely much harder on myself that those guys are. Then came soreness in muscles that are not used to it but whatever...they'll toughen up.

   On writing...I maintain that this is my baby, that I write for the personal satisfaction. I saw somewhere that an author decided he was a better reader than a writer so he gave it up. I have a story that I'm telling and who know how long it will go on? In my mind it's a series and it's Continuous ( see what I did there? ) I'll keep writing it and I'm glad I've found a few that stick with me each week.

I have now rambled enough! You should go back to you regularly scheduled programming and get on with your day!

Have a great week!

See Ya


Monday, July 25, 2016

Confirmed... I'm Not A Princess.

Nope not in the least.

    Mind you I never claimed to be one! Sure I love shoes and nail polish, putting on that dress once a year that I don't wear anywhere. I have my princess moments like camping, I don't like bugs, need running water at all times and prefer to not sleep on the ground. I will if and when the need arises though.

    So with that being said I took the opportunity while the men were away to show that I'm not a princess or just a woman. On Sat once Choo left the house to go for a ride to a Show & Shine in Surrey, I moved my mostly stripped 1970 BSA from the shed #1 to shed #2. I'm calling them that because the first one he built attached to the house and the second one is a stand alone shed that he built to shelter our 2 running bikes but since they are outside for the season he's building a Shovelhead in there. So I figured there was enough room for me to move the BSA and strip the rest of her down so that the frame can be sand blasted and not tell him I was doing it so he couldn't make that face that looks so sad that I'm using some of his space.

    This from the guy I asked to buy me a shoe rack and he bought me a tool box instead. What good is a tool box if I don't use the tools right? It is pretty though all black and silver. I wonder what he'd do if I girled it out, some unicorns or pretty flowers?

Ok a bit of princess is showing.

   Where was I? Oh Ya...

    So I moved her all by myself and she only had the rear wheel attached so that was a chore as well as underestimating how heavy she was...bare. I also had to maneuver her around my Sportster and then around Lo's Sportster, between hers and the truck and the car that has everything blocked in, without tagging any of them while keeping the frame and wheel balanced. Around the back of the truck, into the grass and pushed her backwards up the ramp into the bike shed. She kissed my ankle on the way in and the bruise reminds me of that every second but it's all good.

    I got her in and settled and began looking at bolts, wires and things and figured that there was some stuff I could take off before he came home and I would be all self satisfied so I took of the pedals on the left side of the bike ( the right side ones were off already ). So pleased with myself when he got home and saw what I did he seemed pretty proud of me.

Me: Look! I took the gear shift off all by myself!
Choo: Brake pedal
Me:, gear shift.
Choo: Break pedal
Me: No it's on the left so it's the gear shift!
Choo: ...It's a British bike, they're on the opposite side

Me: Look I took off the break pedal!
Choo: Good job!

Just in case I did look it up and pre 1975 before the US changed their standards...everything was opposite. This made me realize that as I'm learning to ride and learning how to coordinate things on the H-D I'm going to have to learn how to ride the BSA differently. I'll be an ambidextrous rider...eventually! So the next day after chucking some broken concrete around...ugh...don't ask. It was back into the shop with me. Choo off on another ride somewhere I decided that the kickstand and rear wheel were coming off and both were a pain in the ass. He came home while I was removing one of the shocks and told me to wait until I took the tire off first.

Choo looking at the ratchet in my hand: Why aren't you using the Impact gun?
Me: Because I didn't want to.
Choo: But it's much easier.
Me: I didn't want to. ( hoping to gain the experience of using the tools he bought me...instead of a shoe rack. )

So he helped me, and figuring out how to get that thing off was a bit frustrating between 2 manuals and common sense dictation. I did find out what needed to be done and Choo found a screwdriver  to turn what I deciphered as the Spindle Nut that had a hole in it. Well he was spinning it and it didn't seem to be moving so we took another look at possibilities to get this wheel off. He got a text and had to leave again. I knew he was headed to Tim Horton's to meet a couple of friends and asked him to ask them what we should do. One of the ones he was going to meet actually sold him the bike and owns a bike shop so if anyone knew how to do this it would be him. Seriously maybe 5 mins after he left and I was looking at the Spindle Nut I noticed that it had loosened much more than we thought it had. That was all I needed and I put the screwdriver back in the hole and started spinning it, low and behold more and more of it worked it's way out so I told him to never mind asking the guys but I couldn't get it all the way out it just kept spinning.

That's when the frustration happened and I thought I was going to lose it so after each spin I would pull outward well push because the frame was close to the wall so I was standing over it. I even swore like a trucker at it but kept the motion.

Spin...push...spin...puus...until THUD a 4-5 inch rod fell to the floor and the happy dance began complete with arm waving and butt shaking. My next text to him was this... with a "WOOOOOOOOO!"

Next thing I know, 3 bikes pull up, I get 2 good job's and a grunt which made me feel very proud of myself!

It's not about proving that a girl can do it, it's proving that I can. I told myself that if I was going to ride then I want to make sure that I know how things work and I'm not going to mind doing the work to take care of my own.

Let the journey begin!

Have a great week guys!

See Ya

Monday, July 18, 2016

Back To Normal...Sort Of

Well Hello Lovelies!

    So after my complete melt down last week, it took me roughly 3 days to recover. Once I posted last week ( most views in one single day that I've ever had. Thank you! ) I felt better.

    I've always said that I'm here and started this to leave something behind for my family. A way for them to remember some of the good times which I try to concentrate on mostly but every now and then I find it works out my own head like Ramblings of a Distracted Mind and others that showed chaotic feelings. I did feel better though, it was like it was all out and once I put it here I could move forward and I did.

    A few days later a friend of the family passed away. It was a long time coming and as Lo would say they were prepared but not ready. I don't think you can ever be ready and even though I had only physically met her twice she entwined herself in my world through Lo and her love of plants matched mine, we got along over that and her flawless sense of humour while she took everything in stride. I'll miss not getting a picture of a random plant that asks me what the hell it is.

R.I.P. Kristi...we were well met.

Let's fast forward shall we to a conversation on the WCE with another friend that almost stopped my heart.

Me: So the vet will call me to pick up Cali's ashes this week.
SE: Did you get it done separately?
Me: *blink* What do you mean...separately?
SE: They didn't ask you?

At this point I know where she's leading but really...really hoping she's wrong as she looks at me with wide green eyes, hands covering her mouth ( but I knew she was trying not to laugh ) and eyebrows high in question and in knowledge.

SE: You can get your pet cremated separately or they will put them in with other animals and you might only get...part of her back. They didn't ask you which one and explain it to you?

Now... I'm horrified...and panicking.

Me: NO! They came in and asked if I wanted private cremation that was it!
SE: Ok good, it's ok that's what you want.

Relief flashed across her face and mine as my heart slowed to a normal rhythm.
We picked up her ashes on Saturday. Bean and I had a cry because she was home now and although the weight of her missing from our lives is still there, the world keeps turning.

Thanks for all the love and support! You have no idea how much that means to me.

The rest of the weekend was spent praying for sunshine and praying for no rain where we had a tiny bit of sun and a little bit of rain but mostly cloudy, muggy summer darkness. This summer so far is not as it should be and as much as I'm glad it's not 30 - 35 degrees out it would be nice to have some PREDICTABLE weather to possibly plan around. So all I could do was daydream about a future I don't have yet, book a tattoo and write.

Damn you Norman Reedus for making my obsession worse on Sunday nights.

Next on the list...the people going don't even know it yet but planning a trip to Hells Gate for the end of Aug. I'd like that to be my first long ride so get your shit together people!


Now I know that at least one of you is saying HELL YA! While a few others are saying OH GOD.

Fitting don't you think?

Have a great week guys!

See Ya

Monday, July 11, 2016

I Don't Have Enough Words...

Well...this is going to be a hard one to write...

I don't even know where to start I guess it's the beginning.

On Friday I worked half a day. So excited to get home early, the weather was sunny and it was an early beginning to my weekend.

Before I got home Choo had sent me a pic of my riding boots I ordered because with the looming postal strike/lock out about tho happen I was hoping I'd get them by the deadline and then it turned out that they were shipped by UPS and it wouldn't have mattered. I joked with him about him opening my package and stealing my fun.

Here's one of the hard parts...

Sese asked me to go to Starbucks with her so she could get her Very Berry Hibiscus whatever it is. Actually she didn't even ask I just went with her. As I'm walking down the street with her chatting away I saw a man walking towards us and I could feel that he was bad news. It rolled off of him in waves but he looked sketchy and I just wanted to get to Starbucks. As he walked by I heard him say "Fucking Nigger" now at first I didn't think I heard him right because although I'm no stranger to it it happens so little ( like once every 5 or so years ) that I wasn't quite sure I heard him right. I was pondering the thought when Sese's little face cut into my view...eyes wide and all she said was "Whoa!" She's 23 years old and I was embarrassed that my mere presence caused that for her. He doesn't know that I grew up in a white neighbourhood or that I don't even have black friends!

It confirmed what I heard and she was angry. I was fine, I said he was just ignorant and doesn't know me from a hole in the wall. I...was fine until I got into the coffee house and looked at her, angry and upset...for me. I didn't even realize until the words were out of my mouth how much it disturbed me, not because it was towards me but because she had witnessed it. First hand at her mother. I'm not a crier, anyone that knows me know s that but as I spoke tears welled in my eyes seeing her face and I said. "That's what you get from me. The part that's hated by assholes." She said "No, I've never experienced that." All I wanted after that was to go home. I didn't want to run into him again and have something worse happen so we walked the back way home.

I felt bad kids having to see it. Normally I could let it go but I kept seeing her face. When I got home I told Choo what happened and he asked me if I knew what the guy looked like and of course I did. Without a word he was gone. I went downstairs to asked Bean if Allan was home forgetting that I was home early because I wanted him to make sure that Choo didn't do anything stupid and hopefully calm him down before he found the guy.

Well...that didn't go well either...Bean and T along with a couple others took off like rockets there was no stopping them and as they walked down the street going after their father I looked at Sese and said "Hey look, there goes my squad." Nervous jokes but she laughed. After everything that has been happening in the US this seems so very small. I didn't expect the uproar. My family took to FB posting their outrage and sadness and I posted nothing because he was an asshole and I was conflicted. I felt like having my genes, having a part of me failed them.
My kids are grown and this unfortunately is our world and I do rarely see it and when I do it's by people who have to scream at me while they're driving away. Bean told me that she has had racial slurs slung at her from black kids in school thinking she's wasn't black enough because my girls are half/half.

It was a stark reminder of a difference that I don't feel that I have.
Anyway long story short they found him, a bank got closed down because of a hot headed nephew and he was too scared to face them. did I deal with that???

A bottle of Bourbon and I had a very close relationship for the rest of the night.

On to the second part of my awful emotional roller coaster.

My dog in my last post that was not eating. I decided that it was time to go to the vet. She would eat one day and not others, run some days and not so much the next ect. Lo said she would drive us so I grabbed California's leash and she lost her little mind she got so excited. Practically dragged me down the stairs and jumped into the car and off we went. She had lost alot of weight and I was surprised at the energy she had. Not as much as she usually did but much more than she had shown for a while. We got to the vet and she sniffed everything she could, choking herself pulling in all directions. We got into the room and I told the vet all about her inconsistent symptoms, the changes in her food because we were feeding her anything she wanted to eat just so that she would. the vet said she had lost muscle mass not just weight so we went over possible issues thanked me for all of the information and she sent Cali for Xrays and blood work.

The work took about 15 mins and Lo and I waited for the results in the waiting room. they brought Cali out to me and she curled up beside me. We watched animals come in and out, some making us laugh. At one point they even lit an Angel candle to signal that a dos was being put to sleep in another room. When they called us back into the room we could here the family next door sobbing and saying goodbye to their pet and I thought 'please don't let that be us'. when she came back in the vet said that there were 2 things we could do for her and the first option was euthanasia...and my heart stopped, I stopped breathing. The second option was an invasive treatment that would cause her more discomfort that she said flatly was not going to help and if she went to the emergency hospital she wouldn't come home. They didn't know what caused it and had no treatment for it. she showed us the x-rays and looked down at Cali shaking her head as Cal stood there tail sweeping from side to side.

She had an infection in her liver that made it swell to the point that it cut off her stomach and intestines. She said even if we brought her in at the beginning of her symptoms there would have been nothing they could do except put her down sooner. She said that considering the size of her liver that Cali should not have lived as long as she did, she shouldn't have been so bright with her tail wagging and interest in everything. She was confused and perplexed at how my dog walked in on her own 2 feet. We could take her home and bring her back in 2 days to be put to sleep or do it right away because the vet didn't even think with all the damage that she would have 2 days left. I couldn't take her home, I couldn't let her suffer one more day so I called the family together so they could say goodbye.

It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. There is so much more but I can't even tell you the rest because right this moment... I can't see the screen though my tears.

The vet said she hung on for us...she hung on for me.

I have no more words...

Monday, July 4, 2016

Deep Conversations Start In The Strangest Places.

Hello Lovelies!

I'm back from Vacation and already wishing I was still at home in bed.

Have you ever back to work and forgotten your passwords? Well that has happened.
Usually I would wait for a better moment to write this but I'm at a standstill right now so here we are! was your week?

Mine was productive and yet counter productive at the same time. Out of the many things I wanted to do. I managed about 3 and that was ok with me. Sleeping in was not possible but that was alright and I got to enjoy my quiet mornings. There is so much to say and I really don't even know where to start??

Besides binge watching Letterkenny, practicing my art techniques, trying to help my sick dog, attempt yard work ( attempt being the operative word ), a Canada Day BBQ, waking up to porn and going for a tiny but actual ride away from my house it was a pretty mellow time!

You're stuck on waking up to porn aren't you...

...of course you are you sick freaks.

Should I start from the beginning?

Letterkenny - WATCH IT...don't ask questions just do it.

Art techniques - painting objects to look old for steampunk projects.

Sick Dog - my dogs symptoms are consistent in their randomness. One day she'll eat, then next she won't eat the same thing she ate the day before unless it's grass. she is refusing dog food but still mooches for human food, She'll throw up every 3 or 4 days usually grass, she won't want to get up one day but will be running and excited the next and is loosing weight. A vet trip is going to be needed.

Yard work - well I cut things back, mowed things down and dug things up. Not in that order and only enough to make things look Our green waste bin weighs about 1000 lbs and it will take at least 3 or 4 of us to move it because of the constant food waste in a 7 person household so I'm thinking a compost bin will be a much better bet. At least we can use that to fertilize the yard and use the green waste bin for the yard waste.

Canada Day - Good old fashion family and fun.

Waking up to porn - You know how you fall asleep with your TV on? Well usually I'm asleep before 2am and in deep sleep by then. Not this time I went to bed late watching a movie on TMN and drifted off and you know how sounds filter into your sleep and dreams causing 'am I awake or dreaming questions'? In my sleep it sounded like COPS of a sort was on. They were using a bait car to catch car thieves, pretty simple right? Then I heard a phrase that would NOT be used on COPS...ever, and therefore I opened my eyes and looked at the TV. I did not expect what I saw.
Now the content itself didn't phase me but the position this woman was in most certainly did, oh she was the cop by the way and the perpetrator was not respecting her authority...wait maybe he was either way after my 'what the hell is that' moment and I figured out what it was I changed the channel and went back to sleep.
Now the next morning I was telling Lo about this and Bean had come upstairs in mid story. I even said that I couldn't continue because she was there but she's almost 21 and was curious plus we have a really open family.
You really know your children are grown when they except their mother trying to demonstrate the position she saw in a few seconds of  XXX movie because she rolled with it and even wondered herself how porn stars can possibly twist themselves into pretzels and still look like they're enjoying themselves, seriously it was like a game of Twister gone horribly, horribly wrong. Anyway we laughed and laughed and went about our day. Until later when T found out about it then a whole new conversation started about what young girls see in men and how their emotional state contributes to how men see them and and what they really think about the way they are approached and treated by the opposite sex. There was guy involved in the conversation as well so it wasn't one sided.  Among many other things I'm glad my girls feel comfortable talking to me and I have to say that I was enlightened about what girls their age really think about sex and adulthood from different perspectives.

Apparently Porn starts conversations. who would have thought.

My tiny ride. - Canada Day I woke up...stupid early, had a coffee shoved in my face and was told to down it and get dressed we were going to a parking lot for me to simply turn in a circle and lean. I've been learning in stages and for the most part whenever anyone talked about taking me to a lot it was always that someone else would have to ride my bike over to the lot. Not this time I was riding it myself and truly the lot was only 3 blocks down the street in a straight line, how could this go wrong! I suck back my coffee, grab my stuff, Choo goes out to warm up the bikes, I get my helmet on starts raining. Now me riding pretty much scares him on a good day so going out in the rain, even a little was not happening for him. He was leaving for the Canyon Run to Lillooet BC the next day and wanted to get this in before he left. He was more upset that I was so he went off to grumble about typical BC weather while I puttered around the house. A couple of hours later he came out, checked the sky and we were back in business.
This is how little I know about rider etiquette. He was in front of me before we left, sitting off to the side, so I sat patiently waiting. It wasn't until Lo said he was waiting for me to lead that I clicked in. I thought I should follow him but no sure put me on the spot so he can see how terrible I am and correct me. We Got to the lot where he made me ride in circles and around the building. I gave him about 100 mini heart attacks but I was good and apparently I have great balance. I didn't put my feet down even turning slowly which I thought I would and most importantly I didn't drop her.
So it was my first official ride albeit short I had to cross traffic, ride with another person and was not on the road in front of my house. baby steps but steps none the less!

Ok I'm done for now but there is so much more.

Glad to be back to the routine. Have a great week!

See Ya

Monday, June 20, 2016

Insane In The Vacation Brain

Hello Lovelies!!!

Please bare with me as I have this work week to go and then I'm on Vacation! My first true vacation of the year and it's been a long 6-7 months and my brain has already left and is dreaming of the days to come making it really hard to concentrate on anything longer than 30 seconds.

So what will I be doing for my vacation? It's a Staycation so I'm not going anywhere. I have things to do at home  taming my yard would be a good start and with Canada Day coming that week there's a BBQ to plan, things to paint because I'll be all crafty and my Motorcycle Skills Test that week as well it will be practice, practice, practice for me! So really it's a working vacation only I'm working on having fun!

 I found videos on You Tube of the ICBC MST and of all of the ones I watched there was only one with a female rider, her test was damn near perfect and she passed the 15 min test in 5. She just knew what she was doing and I can only hope to be a fraction of what she was on hers. 

And you know simple as it looks, to me it's the most intimidating thing I've seen yet and have to make myself do. Self doubt is riding high right now despite the encouraging words of the people around me. As much as my brain is telling me that I'm doing ok, that I'm passing the steps  in a functional manner, there's that tiny piece that is still asking me what I'm doing and telling me that it'll never happen because I'm too scared, that I'll never get to the point where I can accomplish what it is I want to do but I can handle that. I can handle the fear, I can handle the self doubt as long as I'm the one doing it then I won't be discouraged because I want this too much to listen to that voice belittling me in my head.

What I can't handle is doubt from anyone else, now don't get me wrong it's not that I care if anyone else doubts my ability to do things and not just this but in many other things. It's the little put downs or talking down to me that would typically make me angry wanting to push back and yet they stick in my head, needling at me, making me want to try harder to prove myself but for the wrong reasons. 

Of course I want to prove it to my family and they have been the best as I take this journey from putting the bike in my face, encouraging me to get my license, putting up with my endless questions,  shedding tears when you first saw me ride but I'm still my worst critic. So starting with this I've chosen not to let assholes get to me even if I'm the asshole. The ones that tell me "I'm just a girl." or tell me things just to placate me are not needed, you can either help me accomplish my goal or leave me alone. 

I don't need to be built up to be torn down I just need you in my corner.

As usual though putting it out here always helps me focus ( even temporarily ) and put things into order ( a random order but still...) avoiding the chaos (briefly) so that everything moves smoothly ( hopefully not into a ditch or a tree ) as I go along. Once I get past my skills test the insanity will stop...for a while anyway because you know we've got to keep the gong show alive.

Ok enough of that, I guess I should get my brain back in the game not that there is ANY hope of that getting better as the week goes on!

Have a great week guys!

See Ya