Search This Blog

Translate

Showing posts with label Awful X-mas Gifts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Awful X-mas Gifts. Show all posts

Monday, December 5, 2016

Snow, Baking and Belly Buttons

Hello Lovelies!

Well today is not the average day here in the Lower Mainland although it's a typical Monday. I left to catch the bus and it never came, forgot my glasses had to run home, decided to take the WCE got to waterfront Station and with the Skytrains delayed is was a sardines in a can situation and then...and then...with a packed train car a woman with rolling luggage gets on. The bane of my commuter existence but she crammed herself and her rolling duffel bag into the car and all I wanted to do was kick it.

Now the difference in snow at home vs snow downtown is that snow at home is well...snow while downtown it's more like rain. Yesterday was sunny with the crispness seeping in and I actually liked it. Today though everyone panicked even though on the high traffic areas the roads are not bad. Salt trucks were out in force but only the higher elevations really had to worry. 30 min to 1 hr. delays out of North Van, SFU has no transit running up Burnaby Mountain and there is more snow to come. Today is one thing but tomorrow calling for sun and that with the low temps means ice will be a major problem.

Oh my...did I really talk that much about the weather?

So how was your week? Mine flew by very quickly as December always seems to do making us feel the pressure of Christmas. Christmas Eve is always the day I bake and this year it's on a Saturday which means I have the whole day to work in the kitchen. Usually I have to work a half day so by the time I get home from the city the day is almost gone, but this year I would like to try not only the baked goods but Candy too.

I've never made candy, and I'll probably suck at making candy but I'll give it a try. My problem is knowing what type of candy to make.

I've never made Rum Balls either although Rum and Christmas Eve might not be a good combination seeing as the last time that happened I almost never made a turkey, or got out of bed. The important things to have going for Christmas Eve and Day is coffee, copious amount s of coffee and nibbles lots of nibbles. In my house the biggest issue when baking is keeping the baked good from being eaten as soon as they come out of the oven so that means double and triple batches of everything but thank goodness I will have at least 1 little helper those days.

Oh ya back to candy. What type of candy do you make a Christmas?

Barks and Brittles? Fudge? Minty things?

So many and so much to do to make sure all of the bits and pieces are there. So now that all of this is in my brain I'll have to do some planning and practicing to do. let's not forget the awful X-mas gifts though just a couple of them jumped out at me so far like this one.


The belly button brush for that individual that apparently needs to brush out their belly button. Did someone notice that this person had a lot of belly button lint all of the time?


and this lovely beauty my heart is seizing already from the thought of these. Himalayan Salt Tequila Glasses. $28 for 4 available at Uncommon Goods.

Now they may not be awful but still strange to me.

Ok guys back to the grind and thinking about Candy!

Have a great week!

See Ya 
S


Monday, December 21, 2015

Awful Christmas Gifts 2015 pt 2

Hello Lovelies!

This is the last Awful post since Christmas is this Friday. It's moved so fast and end of year is always the most busy and hectic. As well as the Winter Solstice being today on this side of the world I'm hoping that the shortest day of the year proves itself to be really short and my work day will hopefully feel shorter in return so far so good.

Only 3 and 1/2 days of work this week though and with Boxing Day on Saturday we get the Monday off on the other end so next week is short too. Fantastic. 

Anyway on to the ridiculousness.

The Lung Ashtray




I actually have nothing really to say about it except that someone is obviously trying to say something with this gift and I would have to smack them with it in return.

The Stud Undies...


Ummm...wishful thinking??? Ego booster????? Run away...

Extreme Chores Video Game


An extreme chore would be to actually have them doing their chores in the first place. I mean if paying them wouldn't get them done how would a point system work? And why does that kid look sooo happy? All of them are freaking me out.


 Brief Jerky

Edible...Meat...underwear... I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
So...gross...

Ok this is a pillow with an arm...


Desperate or needy I'm not sure which but I'm leaning more toward desperate.
Yup definitely desperation.

The Nap Sack...

This one made me laugh out loud! Not only is buddy wearing one in a meeting at least I think it's a meeting and the people on the ski lift ( how much sleeping time is there? ) but the one in Church mainly because you want to go un-noticed if you're sleeping in Church, right? 

Ok guys off I go. It's lunch and I still have time to get some writing in so have a great week!

See Ya
S




Monday, December 7, 2015

All I Want For Christmas..

Is absolutely none of these.

While looking for truly awful Christmas gifts I have found quite a few that are just undeniably ridiculous and as we go for the next few weeks they will become even more ridiculous.

So shall we get right to it?

Yes I think we shall!

Up first,


This seems self explanatory, except for why your hands would need under...um...handerpants in the first place. What's wrong with gloves? Do they go under your gloves? It doesn't even matter.


I have no idea what language this is but I'm pretty sure that's a sleeping bag, that you can walk around in, and at the same time have absolutely no use of your hands. Wouldn't those bathroom breaks be a chore? Maybe he has Handerpants on under there.


The DVD Rewinder... I would get this for someone just to see how long it took to get the joke and then laugh my ass off. So this one is good for the entertainment value alone but still awful.


This gives Wake n Bake a whole new meaning but still how is this even remotely a good idea? First you would have to set it up the night before and that not gross at all (yes it is) but then to wake up and cook in bed, or beside the bed? Who eats the second they crack open an eyeball? What about grease splatter on your face? What if you roll over and drape your arm across the grill?

I have too many questions.

Oh let's see...I have dogs and I knit but do I want to go as far as knitting WITH my dogs hair? I...think...not...ever. ti makes me itchy just thinking about it.

I you have an awful gift idea or someone has given you something that was just wrong let me know and we'll see if we can find something worse.

Have a great week!

See Ya
S

Friday, December 4, 2015

Year End Is Coming!




Happy Friday!


With Xmas just around the corner in a few weeks and my shopping halfway done, it leaves my mind free to wander about the upcoming new year.

This year has gone by so fast and reflecting on what has happened and how to improve the next year comes along with it. Wanting to improve it doesn't always mean you can though. So I try to start small but I'm thinking that next year I'll just go big and all in. 

2015 was my year to "Roll With It" and I did I took everything that happened in stride no matter how weird or uncomfortable it was, with the exception of going to Walmart in my PJ's with Blondunicorn and Bean because I'm sorry I just can't do it. The most I can do that way is hit a Tom Horton's drive thru in my slippers and only because who's going to see that! Unless she tried to make me get out of the car...but she wouldn't...out of fear.

Besides that it was go with the flow the whole way.

So the oncoming 2016 year is going to be the year to "Go Big." Instead of small steps towards making the year memorable it's going to have to be leaps and bounds! Within reason people! I know a few of you who are giggling like monkeys on crack right now but get whatever those thought are out of your head. There are many changes to come and many opportunities to make things happen, thank goodness for my patient and supportive group I have that will aid and abet my ideas without question.

 Except Bean who not only has questions but finds every, single, possible loophole to just about anything. 

Besides dabbling in photography and the strides I've made with my writing, it's time to buckle down and take the time to do all of the various things that consume my world and there are just so many!

What's life if you're not going to live it, right?

With that said Monday begins the Awful Xmas Gift line up and unlike my failure for Halloween These should go off without a hitch. If you have any suggestions or memories of gifts you received that were either less than appropriate or just ridiculous let me know. Pictures would be even better.

Now I have a work party to go watch people get drunk at!

Have a good weekend

See Ya
S

Monday, December 22, 2014

Merry...? Happy...? Geez...

Well Hello Lovelies!

Second to last post of the year and with Christmas coming up in a few short days this will be a short one too.

Me and mine just wanted to wish you and yours a very...








and every other politically correct and diverse Holiday greeting that goes with it from now until the end of the year!

Have a great weeks guys and I hope that your holidays are fabulous!

See Ya
S

Monday, December 15, 2014

More Awful Xmas Gifts!!!!

Hi Lovelies!

I have the beginnings of a cold (Thanks B) so if some of this blog doesn't make sense you can blame the fogginess in my head.

I'll have one more post before Christmas and after only 2 more it will be a whole new year, once more full of things we hope to do and probably won't but we'll try!


I'm trying to see how this is a bad one? Cheesy YES but completely useful! I have a couple of spider freaks for friends that would LOVE not having to get close the bugs they fear!



I think my cats and dogs would love this one! Oh wait only 1 cat and one dog. Bosco would run and hide...forever, Cali would bark and attack it, Oz would stare at it with loathing, Whiskey would have a panic attack and not know what to do. Smokey and Bast though both of them would probably roll over and indulge themselves! I still think it's awful though and if you notice the top of the box there's a Turtle? a Ferret a Lamb and a Horse?? A Turtle??? 

<b><a href="http://www.prankpack.com/buy/pet-petter-prank-pack-fake-gift-box.html" target="_blank">PET PETTER</a></b> $8<br /><br />
For those who find pet ownership a stressful and angst-ridden exercise, this device eliminates actually having to touch your pet ever again. Now the only thing you’re responsible for is picking up poop. (Okay, the device is fake. It's actually just a prank box, but, really, who wants an empty box for Christmas?!)

This one...well it makes me want to watch Golf just to see if anyone has one...but we all know they don't. Uroclub! The golf club with a Pee receptacle! 

<strong><a href="http://www.uroclub.org/" target="_blank">UROCLUB</a></strong>, $24.95.<br /><br />
For the golfer and flagrant urinator in your life, there's the UroClub, a golf club that's actually a pee receptacle. And as you'll note in the photo, the UroClub comes with a "privacy shield" (loincloth) to protect whatever dignity one has left.

And this because, you know...Jason needs a girlfriend. It's really Rejuvenique a system to remove wrinkles or in a horror movie thought, sear the skin off your face and make you a hideous monster that seeks revenge from pretty people!


<strong><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Rejuvenique-RJV10KIT-Facial-Toning-Mask/dp/B00005JHWB" target="_blank">REJUVENIQUE</a></strong>, $28.99.<br /><br />
Serial-killer mask? No, it's just Rejuvenique, a mask that's supposed to reduce the appearance of wrinkles with the help of a 9-volt battery strapped to your face. On the plus side, it's recession-friendly, and can double as a hockey mask or Halloween costume.

Wait...I like this one...let's move on!

<strong><a href="http://coffincouches.com/" target="blank">COFFIN COUCH</a></strong>, $3,500.<br /><br />Who wants to be reminded of their own mortality while vegging on the couch watching <i>Six Feet Under</i>?

Do you know what this is! It's a ticket to Heaven complete with everything you'll need to ensure your entrance past those pearly gates. I can see the Infomercial now! 

Worried about getting into heaven?
Do you think there won't be space?
Reserve you place now with easy to use Ticket to Heaven Reservation Kit! 

No Fuss
No Muss 
A guaranteed spot waits for you!

<strong><a href="http://www.reserveaspotinheaven.com/" target="blank">TICKET TO HEAVEN</a></strong>, $12.79.<br /><br />These tickets are for the trip of a lifetime — heaven. They come complete with a handy travel kit that includes a certificate of your reservation, the Official Heaven Identification Card, and a Heaven 101 informational guide. We wonder what their returns and exchanges policy is.

Ok this one is the best...When someone in your family or friends insists they don't want anything for the holidays, they probably don't mean that they want you to get them Nothing. But this'll teach them or me because I'm always the one that says nothing

<strong><a href="http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/new-arrivals/nothing/index.html" target="_blank">NOTHING</a></strong>, £3.99.<br /><br />
When your significant other insists they don't want anything for the holidays, they probably don't mean that they want you to get them Nothing. But this'll teach them.

Except for the first one these are courtesy of Marie Claire.

Ok guys, Have a good week!

See Ya
S