How was your weekend? Here we had a long weekend because of BC Day and that's why my post is on a Tuesday this week.
Sitting here and thinking about the past few days, coffee in hand while I wait for the rain to start I'm trying to filter through everything that's happened. A lot between young life drama's, older life drama's and getting off the couch and out of the house, writing and of course me learning to ride.
Not necessarily in that order.
The young drama...oh how simple it is...but you know not for them while they're in it. I think back to when I was 21 or so and the things going on with my group of friends was very similar to what's happening for the girls and yet all on completely different levels. As logical as they can be sometimes the wrong choices are made, sometimes the right ones even though they seem wrong but none of them treat things like it's the end of the world in that dramatic fashion most girls have. Sometimes I'll listen to the 3 of them talking. They'll be on the deck or downstairs having their sisterly chats and I'll just stay back and listen to them make each other laugh as they talk about things going on for them and then they will get into more serious discussions that they won't all agree on but they listen to each other's points.
I've been playing with a post in mind to give you more insight into the crazy zoo that is my life. Hopefully to give you a better picture of the diverse personalities in that world and how every one of them can bring a smile to my face even when they're being ridiculous. They are my heart, my soul and my life and the others around me are my universe, always in motion and yet keeping me steady, keeping me whole. And...sometimes slightly crazy and frazzled.
And then there's you guys, you're there all the time and you deal well with my ramblings no matter how crazy or random they are, you support me when bad things happen even though I never see you, you remind me that I'm never alone. Not that that's possible because to be alone I would have to lock myself in the bathroom and really that doesn't work either because I'm Mom. In truth when I am alone I have no idea what to do with myself and wonder where everyone else is.
Ok well... that was not where I was headed...
In other weekend news I did more riding this weekend that ever and it was as I would say a complete and utter gong show and in my defense I was utterly unprepared so some of the things that happened and there's so much that happened that I don't even think I can spit it all out here so let's go to the bullet points.
- Even though I know how to not stall my bike it seemed to be all I did. I can pull away from the curb with no problem but get me to cross traffic or turn into it and my brain apparently forgot everything. Choo was super patient with me while I cursed and swore at myself.
- My girl was seriously hard to turn on Sat. It turned out I only had half the tire pressure I should have had in the front tire and the back was low as well. Once that was fixed she was easier to maneuver.
- Know a guy, owns a bike shop, apparently my pegs weren't set properly so he fixed them. You wouldn't have thought that something so small would make such a difference but then my footing was different and that was something I had to familiarize myself with too on top of wearing proper riding boots for the first time.
- Leaned my bike over because of an asshole trying to rush me out of the way but yay me that I held her enough to gently put her down and afterwards I was told by every single person there to not let the pressures of other people on the road get to me.
- Another friend there took me out to show me how to shift gears and again I stalled continuously, again angry with myself and all he said over and over was that I had all the time in the world. Now when your trying not to slow down traffic it doesn't feel like all the time in the world that's for sure.
- At one point I forgot I even had feet because I was moving and they... were not on the pegs. I have no idea what happened there...at all. That was a first.
- We're not going to talk about what I realized shifting gears.
Well great and I get that but it doesn't stop me from dissecting every second of it. I didn't feel well when I first went out, getting frustrated with myself made things even worse and feeling pressure where there wasn't any all contributed to my loss of focus in trying to learn new things while holding on to the ones I had practiced so much but couldn't make work, so the next day I asked Lo if she would go out for a little putt-putt with me. Just a circle, only right turns because I needed the room to shift, to turn and to get over my apparently uncomfortable view of traffic so I chose an area that had two roads with frequent traffic and 2 cross streets where traffic would be at a minimum. We both went about riding in a different frame of mind. She was not open to it when she learned 9 years ago where it's all I want to do right now so I'm confident in riding with her that regardless of the difference in our mindsets that she knew where I was at and how I was feeling.
After the first time around I saw simple mistakes I was making. The next time around I would correct them and then notice others like why 2 of the roads I was turning onto for some reason I would turn wide, so wide I would be in the other lane. Thank fully those were on the roads with no traffic and yet in the main roads I would still turn wide but end up riding the yellow line. After a couple of hours of repeating the patterns in my head I could see that "Look where you want to go" was in full play there. The main roads had the lines and although I was looking at them so that I didn't veer into the other lane I should have been looking further forward in my own lane.
On the other 2 streets I was looking at the far side of the road because there are no lines on those ones so my turns were wider. At least that's what I think it is...I hope that's what it is because I'm definitely much harder on myself that those guys are. Then came soreness in muscles that are not used to it but whatever...they'll toughen up.
On writing...I maintain that this is my baby, that I write for the personal satisfaction. I saw somewhere that an author decided he was a better reader than a writer so he gave it up. I have a story that I'm telling and who know how long it will go on? In my mind it's a series and it's Continuous ( see what I did there? ) I'll keep writing it and I'm glad I've found a few that stick with me each week.
I have now rambled enough! You should go back to you regularly scheduled programming and get on with your day!
Have a great week!