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Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Accepting Myself

I'm one of those people that never settles.

Not in a my way or the highway type of way but in the way where I'm content, yet not content, passive yet impassive if that makes any sense at all. I continually work in a frazzled capacity not so much that I'm stressed out ( that's where the passive comes in ), sometimes I'm mildly anxious but always multi-tasking in some way, shape or form. Yet everything is set up into separate compartments based on a commonality and then I task myself with something out of each one.

Just reading that made me confused.

There are things I want at the top of my list! Others can wait until I deem them necessary, some drive me nuts that I can't get them completed faster but there is something missing so that task is sidelined.

Why can't things be easy? Simply because it wouldn't be worth it if it was right?

The struggle it seems is prioritizing but how do you prioritize when things have no rhyme or reason most days? Besides going to work there is no routine in my day to day life and most definitely not in my thought patterns. I can't seem to put things straight and as you guys have heard from me before, this is an ongoing thing so I should just accept the chaos right? Why over think it, I am who I am and do things the way I do!

Acceptance is the key so how can I go wrong?

I mean I'm never one to think I should be a certain way. I entertain thoughts of being you know the soccer mom or the party girl or a kick ass, gun toting mystery woman ( avid reader here ). In the end though I could never be the soccer mom (tried but Sese didn't last), the party girl ( I would much rather do something else ), the KAGTMW ( well she exists in whatever book I'm reading ). When someone says "You need to love yourself for who you are." Well...who am I? I know who other people think I am but who am I to me?

A question I don't even think about most days. I don't dwell on it when I do, sometimes it just creeps in there, I acknowledge it and send it away with a "Ya does it matter?" and the question goes away for a while like a change in the seasons.

For the most part I'm happy, I love my family, have great friends, a life that's been a struggle mainly because I made it that way in some areas but I'm here alive and well. I mean sure life could be more exciting, it's up to me to make that happen though. This years theme has been to Focus and for my brain focusing is HARD! Unless I set my sights on something and I'm obsessed for a while... I have a couple of those something's right now.

All in all life is good even amid the chaos of my mind. Yet I'm still the quiet one...

Not much longer before my vacation starts and we're off to our haunted destination. I reminded BU that the Blonde with matching underwear always dies first but right now her hair is red and as long as she mis-matches her undergarments we're good. She said she won't question my logic though and if I say it's time to leave then we'll set the road on fire to get out of there.

I'm so glad she understands me!

Vacation Countdown has begun...

See Ya.

Monday, June 19, 2017

Emotion vs Logic and Food

Hello Lovelies,

Alright 2 weeks to go before I'm on vacation and give or take a day until me and Blondunicorn ( who is a redhead right now ) are off to...I don't even know where yet but we will figure it out, more than likely just mere days before we go.

I would love to ride but I am consistently being told that there are things wrong with my girl. Carburetor first which still seems to be a problem so I'm told. Didn't feel like it to me but what do I know and now the Primary chain so it's killing me so I'm told only short rides no long ones and even then with our weather lately being really crappy...I feel stuck...and sad...and depressed...and then you get jerks that you call your friends giving you a hard time for not being out there when that's the only place I want to be is, out there, somewhere, getting lost.

I'm pretty sure that Choo is paranoid and just plain scared to death of me being out riding without him there to watch over me...not that he did really in the first place because he was gone all of the time out riding himself and then taking my bike and leaving.

Do I sound bitter?

Maybe a little...maybe I haven't quite gotten past that yet.

It's being held back that makes me bitter. I recently told BU that her bike had no reverse so why should she. Sure look in the rear-view and reflect but the only place you can go is forward. Bikes don't have a reverse and you have to force them to go backwards. Forward isn't always smooth either though but at least your moving, taking those ruts and bumps in the road where some of them slam your teeth together but you keep on moving.

I also read a phrase in a book recently "Hope strengthens, Fear kills" and that seems to resonate for me because to fear it locks you up. I don't even think it's a conscious think for him, I think he fears for me and considering he put it in front of me in the first place and fueled my obsession that's just too bad. Although it's pretty tough to stomp my feet and preach unfairness when I'm told things are wrong and don't have the experience to know how bad it it or be able to fix it myself so... I kind of have to trust those of knowledge even if it drives me nuts.

So that being said I torture myself daily with logic and emotion.

Emotion: "I'm going to ride whether he likes it or not!"
Logic: "What if I make the issues at hand worse?"

I daydream about being out there and I can't be until she runs right so until them I live vicariously through others which makes me sad again but at least I have other things to occupy my time until then like baking ( my how domestic ) or reading ( which I do a lot of anyway ) or just living other moments.

Like going to visit something haunted and just getting away in general because it's never me that gets away. The kids, Choo, they get to get away when ever they want to and now it's my turn!!! This does a lot to help my mood. 2 more weeks I have to get through at work and then there is Canada Day our 150th so Bean is calling for Epicness and the house will try to provide that. She already has a Canadian menu happening including Poutine, Maple Leaf cookies, Naniamo bars and Smoked Salmon. She'll probably want pancakes for breakfast just so we can use syrup but that's my girl, she goes all out. Ketchup and All Dressed Chips

Check our some Foods Invented in Canada I was surprised by a couple actually!

Anyway guys, have a great week and I'll see you...somewhere. Instagram, Twitter you know, the usual!

See Ya

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Haunted Places A Trip For Two

Hello Lovelies!

Trying to get back into making sure I'm here and present. It's tough sometimes trying to keep all of my Social Media updated and every now and then I just have to check out. I think part of it is because I haven't been using my blog journal that I just now remembered I haven't been using! I got so used to having it with me all the time so I could jot down notes for content and I really haven't had it for about 6 weeks now???

Holy crap where has my life gone???

So in a couple of weeks me and Blondunicorn are going to take an overnight trip to a Haunted place here in BC. We haven't locked down which one it will be yet but it's a plan in the works and I'm super stoked about it. So excited that I seriously just texted her to make sure we're still a go for that while I'm writing this.

Her response?? ABSOLUTELY!

Once I figure out where we're going I'll let you know. I'm pretty sure it will be towards the Okanagan because I don't want to go the other way. the Haunted Vancouver Island spots can wait for now.

So here are some of the most famous Haunted Places in BC 

I'm thinking that the Tranquille Sanitorium might be the go to place to truly creep her out. We'll see how that goes. she wants to camp wherever we go for the night...I don't think she'll want to stay there but if we do...

So excited! I'll keep you up to date.

K Have a great week!

See Ya

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Still Kickin'!

I'm here! Where have I been? I couldn't even tell you but I'm still kickin'

At least there has been progress! I got to go for a short ride last week and since I'm still a bit of a gong show I was apprehensive but as it turned out I wasn't the issue! My bike which sat all Winter with no stabilizer in the tank had a lot of stuttering issues that at first I thought was me.

Chugging, black exhaust so I went home and had the hubby take a ride and assess the situation for me. When he came home he said that I would need to get my Carb cleaned. The thought of taking her to a shop when I was just getting back into the swing of her (too much time in between rides) did not sit well but better to have her happy and healthy right and then I would be safer.

Thank goodness our shop guy is a good friend and said he could do it for me in a couple of hours. Choo took her in and Jon took her for a ride confirming that the Carb should be cleaned but before that Choo decided to switch out the old gas and what do you know! She runs like a dream now.

Ok that was like a week ago. I show up here in spurts these days. I did take her in on Sunday though to have the Carb done and it took most of the day but that part of her tune up is complete and she's super happy. Still doesn't like slow speeds but very smooth out of first. That means for me that she is not into city riding or stop and go traffic.

So I've decided nice days are for riding and gross rainy days are for building. I'm trying to track down a different tank and fenders so that they can be painted Cobalt Blue and continue the process of making the Sporty truly mine but at the same time I want to keep her original know...original. Besides that my Sexy Bitch ( BSA ) is lacking in love and attention so I need to pull that together too.

Most days I feel like I have nothing to do when there is so much to do and I have to create the routine but yes...we'll see... how routine I can make it because there are so many things that are rolled up in what I have to do!

Ok enough of that! You know how to find me. Questions...Answers...all are welcome!

See Ya