It's Been Awhile

Well... it's been awhile...I guess the post title made that clear eh?

Long road for me these days and so much has changed since I last wrote here...or anywhere else for that matter.

Where do I start? When did you last hear from me? I could look but it feels like a long time, a really long time. Too many thoughts and feelings to sort out so this will more than likely be a rambling and updating post this lovely Wednesday. So I'm pretty sure I've been here since my youngest moved out and now my oldest has moved to Ireland for 2 years. She left mid June and it feels like forever until she comes home.

This will be the longest 2 years ever...

In other areas my world has taken on new adventures, some were bad and some were good. I just have to figure out who I am now without my baseline to follow without giving up entirely who and what I am. Sounds dramatic but not really. I had my kids young and am in the position where we are extremely close and I love that. For 26 years that has been essentially me and for the past few years I've been trying to find out who I am but the kids were still there. Now they're gone and after another tough decision I'm on my own for the first time since I was 18 years old.

So what do I do now? Friends have said "Whatever you want." or "It's time for you to live."

Some days it's hard to grasp that without missing what I had and even though I was blessed with what was even at it's most stressful ( and there was a lot of stress ) it all made me terrified to venture off alone. I'm not all alone though. There are people in my world that have stood by me and other's that have become very important to me and then there are the ones that I had no idea that I impacted their lives but apparently I did.

Good...You impacted me too.

Time and Life move forward and there is no turning back to some the choices I made were rash and to others they were a long time coming. I moved recently, downsized my home and my life. That was an adjustment that I didn't realize would be as tough as it was.

That first night in my new place with Lo in the next room I sat on my bed...a different bed...looked at my room full of boxes...my faithful buddy laying on his bed in a new place...and cried. Not ugly sobbing crying just tears of remembrance and release, knowing I was going to be ok once I got settled.

Still settling and getting better.

So with that said ( as brief as it is ) I think I'm back because if it's one thing being here did it was give me a place to consolidate my thoughts and as usual I feel better after doing that. So many things to say but for now I'll keep it simple.

It's October, my favourite month of the year in my favourite season. The dark months will be filled with learning for me and I'll try to take you with me as much as I can.

Hmmm...I'll have to update the blog though since my bike isn't silver anymore but blue now and she is sexy as fuck.

Have a great week.

See Ya
S