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Friday, January 6, 2017

Nothing In Them Bird Boobs...

    I got this bright idea that this being a new year that I would try something new. Although I get that idea every year, I consciously set out to change at least one thing this month. You know baby steps.

    When it comes to cooking I love it but by the time I get home from work I usually just try to do something quick and easy that will comfort the masses in my household. The problem with trying to do that though is that living with so many people makes for finicky eaters. This time I decided to hell with that and that I was going to make not only something different but something that I have never made before.


    Since I'm the only one upstairs that cooks it was up to me to amaze the shit out of them. After getting this bright idea being inspired from watching Jamie Oliver for an hour as he made amazing things that made my mouth water, I apparently fancied myself a chef and thought I could make something that I had never cooked before. I scoured All Recipes for something that I could make relatively quickly but that would be pleasing to my family and there it was...Chicken Parmesan.

    "Woo Hoo!" I found what I wanted and the ingredients were really simple so I counted down the minutes until I could go shopping on my lunch break. That being said the closest grocery store to my office downtown is Urban Fare which is a higher end Save-On-Foods. You can feel the money slipping away from you as soon as you walk in the doors and hit the Produce Dept. Right away you know that they get the cream of the crop stuff before it goes to Save-On, Overwaite or Coopers Foods ( all subsidiaries of of the same company ) at least they used to be. The only part of the store that I'm familiar with are the hot counters, so venturing around the store is an adventure! I was almost intimidated walking around as I looked at all of the trendy city folk walking around in their designer clothes. This might not always be true but at 1 in the afternoon, that's what I saw. I even looked down at myself in my Pacific Trail winter jacket that I've had about 10 years and just shook my head.

    I spot the meat counter near the back and my excitement spikes as I rush over to go pick out my chicken breasts. I wasn't clueless, I knew I was going to have to pay more for them considering where I was buying them and you know I figured my family was worth the extra couple a bucks. I look at the price tag and see $9.99 lbs. I hesitated but thought 'Ok I only need 4'. The clerk comes over who looks like she hates her life and asks me if I need help.

    "Sure!" I said. "Can I have 4 of your boneless skinless chicken breasts please?" Without a word she goes into the counter and fishes them out. There were a couple other people in line and I took my eyes off of her while I lightly browsed the other items in the counter. When she was done wrapping and pricing the chicken and she handed it to me it looked like one of those fire logs that you light the paper on and they burn for a few hours. When I took it from her, my hand hit the counter with the weight, she had walked away to help another customer and that's when I looked down at the tag. $28.25 it said.

I thought my heart stopped.

    I waited patiently thinking that she gave me much more than 4, there was no way there were 4 in the package so when another clerk came along I asked her to check. "No problem!" she said. after she opened it and counted them in front of me I saw how massive they were. she says, "Yes there's only 4, they're just really big."

    I don't know what they fed these birds being that they are grain fed, no other crap injected into those bird boobs. Well now I'm committed to the project and I wander the store for the rest of the stuff I need. I get back to work and tell a few of my co-workers about my ordeal and they were right with me on the price of the breasts. I get over my shock and get my excitement back for cooking for the family and I head straight to FB to let them know...

    Long story short I came home put everything together in record time and within an hour I had come out with this...

I seriously punched myself in the shoulder like Anthony Michael Hall in the Breakfast Club. I was proud of myself and the family loved it!

See ya soon!


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