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Thursday, September 18, 2014

Queefing...You Asked, I Told!

Alright...yes this is a random blog post!

Only because of yesterdays horrifying introduction to "Queefing" which until yesterday I had no idea that this existed on purpose with a official name.

Let me start by telling you how I came across this in the first place...

On Wednesdays I scan to web for Weird News now after posting about cool Inventions and some ledge jumpers dressed like priests I cam across something about a Queefing Competition. So I opened the link thinking "OK this should be weird because I've never heard of it."

Biggest...mistake...of my life... I will never get that time back and never unsee or unhear it. You know how as kids, boys would but their hand in their armpit and make farting noises? Well Queefing is the equivalent  of that only... not using a hand and being a woman using her Vajajy to make farting noises.

K... I get that sure, air travels... everywhere but what woman thought "Hey! ( As per Stuart from MAD Tv ) Look what I can do! I'm going to make a sport out of this!" and then grabs her closest girlfriends teaches them how to suck air into their vagina and force it out AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE! Now it's one thing to hear that this is done but to see it as I did...

Let me explain...

Like I said I was cruising sites looking for weird news ( this qualifies ) so I open the link and I see 2 women standing in Howard Sterns studio ( first clue that I shouldn't have been there ) . Everything is fine and they're talking about themselves and what they do ect. Next shot one of the girls in her bra and panties we'll say, lightly squatting. What caught my eye though was the guy holding the microphone, between her legs and wearing a surgical mask because really... who wants to be in the blast zone unprotected.

 Thus the fun ( for them ) began!  This tiny girl half naked on stage starts well... bluntly Vaginal Farting and does this 93 times in 30 seconds! I have no idea if this is impressive or not and I'm sorry but I have NO FUCKING CLUE what I'm looking at here because frankly I'm stunned that this cute lil thing is doing something soooo...boy like? But boys can't do this hence the hootin' and a hollerin' from the largely male audience. So lil thing turns around to face the TV screen behind her and lo and behold the cast of Entourage is also watching her! Even they looked confused like their image of women has been shattered. She was mildly embarrassed um but why when you just did that in front of Howard Stern and friends!

On to the next woman...the competitor. She's was a bit larger than the starter girl but she had to have different positioning as in she laid down on the floor, legs spread facing the camera and the dude with the mask was also getting in position and THAT'S when I turned it off! I'd had enough. I mean I'm not one to really care what people do and I try not to judge. Even in this case I'm not judging them I just don't know why any woman would want to do that?

Because they can I guess?

 I ask again though what woman figured out she could control that function and decided to run with it? The masked guy killed me because he looked like he really didn't want to be there...at all for this.

Anyway...you asked...I told and there you have it. My introduction to Queefing...

may we never discuss this again.

See Ya!
S
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