Well some of you guys knew I was going to blog about this because it was a very happy and important thing in my life. Most of the time I live through humour because if your smiling and laughing things can't be that bad right? Ya...sure.
Last week was the worst for me in a long time. Some things from work and some from home colliding together to just make things not so much bad but completely frustrating. Too many things going on at once and trying to let go of things I had absolutely no control over was extremely hard to do. Usually I can just roll with it physically or emotionally and yet a lot of the time I think it's because I have to be strong enough for other people that I'll put my disappointments or desires aside until things are made right in other areas. Going through periods of time when I just need to process things so I'll say little but hear a lot.
We had our ups and downs last week and for me it was harder than any other time to adjust the thoughts in my head especially because I have things I'm eager to do for myself but rarely put myself first and then I have to rely on others to help me and that's a hard thing for me to do sometimes because I'm a very stubborn woman.
You all know that I'm learning to ride. This is the frustrating thing for me, I have several people that can and are trying to help me but poor weather and them being busy had put a red light on my ability to be out on the open road and then making other frustrations all the worse as well as my mood. I never figured it would affect me that much. It's funny because I never thought I would be one of the ones that not only rode myself but that just wanted to get on with it and be gone, with my friends, on my own... just out.
Unlike the people I know that are riders I'm one of few that never ever rode. Sure on the back but to be in control of a motorcycle...nope, I never saw it in the cards.
Lo and I have had several conversations and she has been the one primarily helping me but she works nights and I work days and her days off are usually mid week so besides hovering in the driveway showing me various things I needed to do, there hasn't been that much progress and along with 2 weeks of rain that didn't help. She's been riding for 8 or so years now and she's the sister of my soul so who better to show me the ropes.
She'll say someone else but whatever buck up buttercup.
Her husband taught her how to ride but she didn't want to learn and ended up resistant to the process where for me all I want to do is learn and she calls me a sponge because I've taken to the instruction so diligently. I would endlessly practice the things I was told to but still wasn't going anywhere and I would get to the point where I would be like...ok...I got it...now what? I'm still stuck in the driveway. I would talk about the back lane but due to a lot of "Steph that's gravel." and "No." by the boys prevented me from trying that and even though Lo and I would talk about doing it anyway because I just wanted to have done with it, sensibility won out and I parked my racing thoughts and waited.
In the meantime I ask questions, I'm involved and want to do this. We did have a weekend before last that was so stupid hot that breathing made you sweat and the tank was hotter than the fires of hell so it was best to let my girl wait until I wasn't going to burn my thighs... and then it rained depressing me all the more. So last week my mind was flailing, jumping from thought to thought about one thing or another, kids, home, work, riding ect and on Friday I finally saw a light ahead. Back at the beginning of June I ordered my helmet. Choo has 2, Lo has 2 but I wanted to have my own instead of borrowing one of theirs.
On Friday I came home and it had been delivered! I was so happy when I finally got it out of the box that pics were taken and posted and my failing week felt behind me! I felt a sense of purpose! What it was I had no idea but my helmet was in my hands. I can't remember why I went out back but when I did I saw Lo's bike and then Choo's bike but mine was missing and I didn't hear her so I figured Choo had taken her for a quick spin and went back in the house. I hear him pull in around front so I'm standing on the front stairs about to ask him where he went when he tosses my keys at me and tells me to get my helmet.
No hesitation...I fly back in the house, grab it and come back out.
After a minute of feeling like a little kid as he adjusts the straps to the point of locking my jaw shut and me mumbling that I think it's too tight, I get on. Mind racing through the things everyone has told me and the things I've learned I had to center myself and then I let off the clutch, rolled on the throttle, after 2 or 3 seconds I have my feet up and I'm moving down the street. I do have a mild problem of getting super excited when I've accomplished something and then I end up doing too many things at once forgetting what I was doing but that only happens the first time.
I pulled her over and had to breathe for a second. Turned her around and rode back to Choo standing there smiling with that cheeky "See you can do it" smile. I stopped and put her in Neutral and he asked me if I was done. All I could do was shake my head and pat my chest because my heart was pounding so hard because not only did I do it but it felt like the bike wanted me to do it too. she's just as tired of sitting in the driveway as I am looking at her sit there.
The next thing I know I'm riding up and down the street and the neighbour is out and telling me that an 86 year old woman just learned how to ride and if she could do it then I could too. Then Bean and Allan are out watching me and she almost set me off as she started to tear up for me. She said I had the biggest smile on my face. I told her I didn't even realize I was smiling. Choo found it interesting that I would go further and a bit faster each time but to that, all I can say is...
You're creating a monster...
Another friend called me crazy and for you...
You haven't seen crazy yet...
Have a great week!