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Tuesday, January 2, 2018

So Long 2017...

Wow so much has happened since my last post.

2017 was one of the best years and one of the worst at the same time.

My other half found his son that he'd given up for adoption right before we got together 23 years ago. He's always been apart of our lives in thoughts of what it would have been like to raise him with his sisters, or wondering what he was like as a kid. Our dream came true when he decided to come and live with us in July and 3 weeks later he passed away...fucked up the whole rest of my year.

There was no getting back on track.

I'm still having trouble with that but I think of him everyday. His words or... word is tattooed on my skin and the memory of the last day we had with him was perfect and always will be.

It was a great day.

The impact he made in such a short period of time was massive and I'm so glad we got to see the best of him in that time. Every time I look at the mountains he's there with a look of pure fascination in his eyes. He was born here in BC but raised in Ontario so the mountains and ocean were awe inspiring for him. Even though the story I can't even tell yet was tragic on so many levels, it brought other people from his world into ours and made our family even bigger in turn.

He showed me to look at things with wonder and to have a big heart. He may not have been mine by blood but in my heart he was mine as much as he was Choo's.

So this year I've decided to focus more on me. I try that every year but just trying to get my shit together this time seems harder and like me the harder it is, the harder I hang on to it and I need to let things go. Goals are one thing but my general outlook on life is going to take some work. So I'm going to try and keep blogging, (the urge just hasn't been there) and keep working on the things that are my world right now, just keep pushing through it.

I have a list of things to get moving on and we'll see how that goes as the days go on but I'll keep you posted somewhere maybe through Instagram or Twitter but somewhere.

I love that you guys have stuck with me and those that are still here I'm thankful.

See Ya

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