Alright 2 weeks to go before I'm on vacation and give or take a day until me and Blondunicorn ( who is a redhead right now ) are off to...I don't even know where yet but we will figure it out, more than likely just mere days before we go.
I would love to ride but I am consistently being told that there are things wrong with my girl. Carburetor first which still seems to be a problem so I'm told. Didn't feel like it to me but what do I know and now the Primary chain so it's killing me so I'm told only short rides no long ones and even then with our weather lately being really crappy...I feel stuck...and sad...and depressed...and then you get jerks that you call your friends giving you a hard time for not being out there when that's the only place I want to be is, out there, somewhere, getting lost.
I'm pretty sure that Choo is paranoid and just plain scared to death of me being out riding without him there to watch over me...not that he did really in the first place because he was gone all of the time out riding himself and then taking my bike and leaving.
Do I sound bitter?
Maybe a little...maybe I haven't quite gotten past that yet.
It's being held back that makes me bitter. I recently told BU that her bike had no reverse so why should she. Sure look in the rear-view and reflect but the only place you can go is forward. Bikes don't have a reverse and you have to force them to go backwards. Forward isn't always smooth either though but at least your moving, taking those ruts and bumps in the road where some of them slam your teeth together but you keep on moving.
I also read a phrase in a book recently "Hope strengthens, Fear kills" and that seems to resonate for me because to fear it locks you up. I don't even think it's a conscious think for him, I think he fears for me and considering he put it in front of me in the first place and fueled my obsession that's just too bad. Although it's pretty tough to stomp my feet and preach unfairness when I'm told things are wrong and don't have the experience to know how bad it it or be able to fix it myself so... I kind of have to trust those of knowledge even if it drives me nuts.
So that being said I torture myself daily with logic and emotion.
Emotion: "I'm going to ride whether he likes it or not!"
Logic: "What if I make the issues at hand worse?"
I daydream about being out there every...day and I can't be until she runs right so until them I live vicariously through others which makes me sad again but at least I have other things to occupy my time until then like baking ( my how domestic ) or reading ( which I do a lot of anyway ) or just living other moments.
Like going to visit something haunted and just getting away in general because it's never me that gets away. The kids, Choo, they get to get away when ever they want to and now it's my turn!!! This does a lot to help my mood. 2 more weeks I have to get through at work and then there is Canada Day our 150th so Bean is calling for Epicness and the house will try to provide that. She already has a Canadian menu happening including Poutine, Maple Leaf cookies, Naniamo bars and Smoked Salmon. She'll probably want pancakes for breakfast just so we can use syrup but that's my girl, she goes all out. Ketchup and All Dressed Chips
Check our some Foods Invented in Canada I was surprised by a couple actually!
Anyway guys, have a great week and I'll see you...somewhere. Instagram, Twitter you know, the usual!