It's Smutty Time!

Before you go any further I just want to say that for the more conservative of you I will try to tone it down to workable parameters within the realm of between discrete and just down right porny. I will try...So it's here that you should chose to turn back or move full steam ahead.

 Ok just so you know...THIS IS NOT A REVIEW just a look into how Romance novels have changed since I was a kid.

My smut is usually more visual and no... not porn because frankly, it makes me laugh but I can handle alot of sex portrayed because really as a whole we are pretty desensitized to the whole aspect of sex and nudity on TV and in movies.

Now, most of the books I read do contain some aspect of sex that is pretty...let's say tame or quiet and it's been a really long time since I read any of it to this extent. Just think that with Fan Fiction ( that my oldest has expressed I should never read but she apparently has ) hitting the hard core readers I guess book reading it just seems to slid by unnoticed by me.

Until now...

I had said previously that I accidentally found this smutty book series and I use the word smutty with love. I had finished 3 running series of books that I had been reading over the years and once that happens I will look for a new author to check out. Now I don't remember how I came across Keri Arthur but I did. I love reading Fantasy/Horror and found her Dark Angel Series about a woman that is half Werewolf and half Adeh ( something like an angel ) that was the product of a mother created in a lab, so I ordered it online...anyway I'm reading along and liking the set up for the series and the first sex scene comes into view. Literally in my brain view,nowhere to hide view. When I went to buy the second book I looked where I usually do, you know where Stephen King, Deborah Harkness and Kim Harrison would be and couldn't find it. When I asked book store guy at Coles he said oh ya that's in the romance section...

Huh?

I have to say that long ago are the days of the Harlequin Romance full of swollen members and heaving bosoms with flowing pirate shirts Those terms are replaced by words like engorged, thickness and slippery when wet and this branch of the story was only the beginning. If this girl ( Risa ) was to have any luck in love it was only between being kidnapped, tortured, thrown between worlds and just plain being fucked senseless. She doesn't sleep as a result and as the story goes on can't even find time to eat a steak sandwich which is all she wants as well as being stuck between 2 non human lovers.

Throughout this story there are characters that are introduced that are actually part of a series that predated the one I was reading so I figured that I should read more about them.

And I thought she was a machine.

Oh the Riley Jenson Guardian Series ...oh Riley now SHE'S THE MACHINE.

She is a half Werewolf and half Vampire but ALL hormones and I mean like ALL the time. In this series they explain more about the werewolves obsession with sex because it's part of them and how it coincides to the full moon. In Risa's story I think she had a couple at once and on a dance floor that appeared like it would be awkward. Apparently it was not.

7 days before the full moon rises they go through what they call the moon heat and heated it is. They have clubs where clothing is almost frowned upon and the dance floor is full of umm...full of...how'd she put it?  Flesh on flesh slapping? Ya that's it.

As descriptive as it is I can't get over the stamina and recovery time these girls have. Almost the same deal as in the other series Riley gets kidnapped constantly and beaten up while the whole time several different men are trying to...impregnate her...willing or not and a couple of them don't even care if she's conscience. What fun is that? At one point she's breaking out of a facility that she's trapped in and finds a horse shifter guy that is just as hung as his horse self, something that made me a little scared for her really but she took it...all of it. They escape...run for a bit...and somehow find a way to have sex in the middle of the day...in the street...up against a car.  In I think a 10 hour period she had 4 different lovers...4! All the while even when her brain says no her hormones form a tiny cheer squad that ignores and overrides her logic skills. Thank god that werewolves heal so quickly.

These stories are set in Australia and it's funny because when I read them now as silly as it seems the words have an accent. I do like the stories though and all the smut is a bonus but how is this a romance novel? There is no romance, romance contains sweet caresses, soft kisses and words like making love.

This... is... not romantic but part of you starts thinking hey...I need to go to Australia.

Overall I really like the series and if that's what you're into Felicia Day has a You Tube channel called Vaginal Fantasy that does book reviews on just this sort of stuff. I'm not sure where these books will take me but I have Blondunicorn hooked now and the road is wide open...like Riley's legs.

OK guys! Have a good weekend!

See Ya.
S

Zombies, Pirates and Smut OH My!

Hello Lovelies!

As the countdown begins to Fan Expo I start this week with excitement at our family excursion! As I'm sure we will meet and separate throughout the day I'm excited to hopefully meet the new mysterious boyfriend of my oldest daughter there and we're going to pop Blondunicorns Convention Cherry. All I do know for sure is that every Steampunk kiosk will be paid a visit from me!

Oh the Corsets, oh the Jackets, oh the gears and gadgetry!!!!!

Ok I will not Monopolize this post with Fan expo stuff because next Monday will be full of it.

So! How was your weekend? Full of excitement, intrigue or a Walking Dead Finale that had me SCREAMING at my TV! That was insane! I don't want to spoil it for those who PVR it but WHY DID YOU PVR IT!!? You need to watch that shit LIVE! With the masses! Then you have to painfully stay off of all Social Media for fear of getting spoiled!

There was so much going on at every given point from Kick Ass Carol all the way down to Rick the Dominator as I call him. Every time Glen comes anywhere near death I lose my mind and Daryl is always the person you want with you when you're surrounded by a large horde of  Walkers that want to eat your face and every other square inch of you. Um and Morgan...the sight of him had me standing on my couch, arms up cheering!

Ya I know...I get excited about things...I can't help it!

You know that feeling you get when you know there is a trap about to be sprung but it still scares the shit out of you when it happens? I'd say if that happens you are fully and completely engaged in what your watching.

If you did watch last night then you saw the trailer for the companion series Fear The Walking Dead which is a prequel to our beloved series but I love the fact that it's going on as the virus breaks. It kind of had that Dawn of the Dead feeling in the trailer and it hits this Summer which is good because it will bridge the gap until Se 6 of TWD.

I also watched the Finale of Black Sails and for those who haven't heard of it, it's all about Pirates and Nassau but mostly pirates...I love pirates well you know not the really bad ones just the ones on the show because well...you need to see these pirates, but they use real historical Pirates and I'm hoping in the case of Anne Bonny that they do introduce Mary Read because that would only make sense in the realm of female pirates and the association with Calico Jack.

Oh what else?

I accidentally started a smutty book series...yes... it was an accident.

You know how you finish a book series and you look for a new author? The search leads you to a couple of authors that have written with one you're familiar with so you decide "Hey! I'll check that out."? I love the Fantasy/Horror genre and didn't realize until I moved on to the second book in this particular series that it's classified as a romance novel...um...I don't know where the romance is but what they are doing most of the time is not so much romantic as it is being bunnies anywhere, anytime.

I have to say that these women are MACHINES! They don't sleep, barely have time to eat and all the while are being kidnapped and tortured repeatedly but not at the same time.
Long ago were the days of Harlequin Romances that as as a kid I thought they were too cheesy and not real enough.
Ya that's changed...A LOT more on THAT later.

Ok guys, have a great week!

See Ya
S.