Forever A Gong Show...

It's Monday yet again and where does the week go?

I didn't post last week as my brain has been scattered a bit lately. My posts will be few for the next few weeks as I'm on my own at work until Mid-June and as much as I try to write them on Sunday nights or pre-plan my posts, if you know me at all you know that just doesn't work. With thundershowers on Sat making the day blah feeling I spent most of the time binge watching Daredevil and I was content with that.

Sat was also T's 21st birthday party with many colourful people. One kid kept calling me Mama Duke all night...I have no idea why and a couple others who were brothers and the more they consumed the more huggy they got. To the point where I couldn't even walk through the room without being hugged and not just by them. What I noticed that was different from when I was that age ( mind you at that age I'd been a mom for 2 years already ) was how lovable the boys got and how...um...not the girls became as the night went on but I guess at the same time there was only 1 girl causing a problem and she was sent home, without a piece of her hair later on.

She was wearing a hair piece but we won't talk about why it was missing.

I would stroll through the house and check on things and then go upstairs and hang out with Sese who was playing Overwatch for oh I don't know maybe 8 hours!!!! Her new obsession besides her League of Legends, Bloodborne and World of Warcraft game play. That's my gamer girl.

One of the fun parts was Bean's boyfriend getting caught in a dance off that we got clued into when we heard the room chanting "Go Allan!" sweetest thing ever. I was laughing too hard to get my phone out and film it but the smile on his face was priceless as he was throwing out his moves. I'll never forget that or T's little brother ( who's taller than me ) rapping as his voice carried through the house and it floored me that there was even a freshly 19 yr old girl there that called home pretty much every hour to let someone know she was ok. She didn't text them... she actually called. Wonders never cease.

By the time Lo got home from work just after 12 the bulk of people were gone but there was enough entertainment to keep her going until about 2 am when I sent everyone somewhere else and without question they all said thank you and left.

All in all it looked like they had fun, even a few of them came back the next morning hungover and still drunk but with smiles on their faces and they were all very respectful and entertaining. Except hair piece girl.

The night was still a gong show but they were happy!

So with this week about to be the complete opposite of last week with it's estimated nice sunny days I'm hoping to have more to share with you and be able to do just that between writing and trying to maintain my weekly posts there as well and as my readership goes up there it gets a little scarier as I delve deeper into the story.

We know though that if things weren't in chaos for me I'd be bored!

Have a great week guys!

See Ya
S

Banish The Fear, Embrace The Experience

Happy Monday Lovelies!

The weather outside is dreary with sprinkles of rain here and there but nothing big and soggy...yet. The stretch of weather has been nice and has given me time to practice my riding skills. At this point they are still semi non-existent except in my driveway and as much as I want to just go, I do realize that my skills for that are not quite there yet.

I know what I have to do but there is so much to remember and most of the people in my riding world are usually busy so I have to snag one of them as soon as I get the chance, and I will use you all.

I'm a visual person and learn by doing. Last week I started off by just learning how to work the clutch and while in first gear release it to feel where it grabs and then pulling it back in. I learned really quickly it can kick forward if I let it out too fast. Sure easy enough you say until you get a hand cramp from holding the clutch in for a long period of time.

It's a bit of a war in my head though because as much as I want to just jump in there and learn everything I can, I have to slow myself down and thank goodness for the endless supply of fear that goes along with it to put the brakes on! I've been on the back of bikes but had never ridden one myself and probably never would have if one wasn't put in front of me and I was told here this is yours.

Correction...the first one that was put in front of me needs to be built first and when that happened I figured I had time. Completely fixated on building a bike until the second one showed up alive and running. I'm determined to learn at a pace I'm comfortable with even as I watch everyone go one their rides together or alone and I want to be there so I'm working in stages.

My fears also seem to run in stages. after working the clutch my next step was to apply gas at the same time and that fear was me (being me) applying too much gas, freaking and losing myself or my bike in the process. On Saturday I got Lo to sit on my bike and go through the motions with me while she explained was I was going to be looking for and feeling for and for about an hour we went through those motions. You have no idea how many times before hand she yelled BRAKE at me but finally I did it without prompting. Up until then I had only been working with the left side of the bike and now I have to put the right side to work that took adjusting. Once I could pull it off smoothly she happy danced and high fived me. Sunday I practiced more and stalled her 4 times before I realized my choke wasn't all the way in. After I fixed that it was all good.

Now since I got over that fear and realized I had more control over that than I though let's just cycle the second fear through now. Maintaining speed and balance, this part mildly terrifies me and if the weather holds out today that will be my next step and the fear is going to have to take a backseat. Like and insistent child kicking the back of my seat while driving. Even though I know I'll be the one controlling the situation and if I do panic I know the steps to stop moving hopefully a smooth stop and not in a launch me over the handlebars sort of way. Dramatic, I know but necessary in keeping my thoughts firmly on my own safety.

 Another friend bugs me about getting on the road, I know he's bugging me and wants me to be safe overall and he's just poking me ( I hope so at least, you never know with that guy ) like they all do but they have no idea how much I'd love to snap my fingers and take off... and not on my broom as he would say. With the fear and anxiety building for that though I actually got a little upset with myself. Don't get me wrong though I'm not getting pressured from anyone to learn at a particular rate and even if I was I would still work at a level comfortable to me. My problem is the constant battle with my brain. I want to do this so badly that I've considered going through the motions alone...more than once, even more so since this weekend but I won't beyond my driveway and it's definitely not long enough for anything but my back alley is and the thing is that it's gravel and there's an apartment complex at the end of it. Plus I'm not stupid someone needs to be there to call 911...but I've thought about it. No one watching me just my bike and me learning to handle each other.

So last night thinking about all of this Choo noticed I was off.

Choo - What's wrong?
Me - What if I don't get it?

Knowing exactly what I'm talking about, he looks at me like it's adorable that I'm second guessing myself and immediately I want to slap him.

Choo - You'll get it, don't worry. We'll take you out in front of the house tomorrow and get you up to speed.

Instant...Fucking...Panic...

That's the only way I can say that so that you have some idea of how my heart almost kicked out of my chest. There are only a few things that get me to the point where I can FEEL my heart pounding and after that my head got super ramped up. "Omg is it too soon?" and "Screw it I'm going to do this!", "What if I can't?" to "Of course I can!"
I'm going to die...

Sleep did not come easy last night, waking up even worse, I swear I was shifting in my sleep and I haven't even gotten there yet, even now as you read this my brain is still there...obviously but figured that as this is not only something that I share with all of you it's also something that I can write and look at to put things in perspective for myself and calm down.

I'm going to do it...I expect anything less from myself and I won't let my fears take over.

Wish me luck!

Have a great week.

See Ya
S

Weekend Wrap Up & Heavy Hearts

Monday again! It seems like the days and weeks go by so fast now. We're almost at the middle of May and it still feels like this year has barely begun.

This mothers day weekend was one of many things.

-The Mayday Parade- The most people I've seen in Poco's Downtown Core.
-Some work on the bike - Where I envision myself being 8 years old again and trying to learn how to ride a bicycle and flailing and a really big bicycle this time. I wondering if they have training wheels for that sort of thing! My Supervisor gave me work to do and his minions ensured that I did it.
-We saved a Hummingbird from heat exhaustion!

-Saw Captain America-Civil War - Good movie, late night.
-Mother's Day...

Before Mother's Day I had a conversation with Sese about what I'd like and I told her that she could give me plant pots and a bag of dirt and I'd be fine with that but not to do that because I could see it being something that Bean gave me. Well what do you know it was almost exactly what she gave me but added the plant as well! A lovely Caladium or Elephant Ear as they are also called that I will probably kill because it's an outdoor plant and they are beyond me but I'll try.

Bean laughed because she was happy that she could give her me dirt and I was happy with it. Sese gave me a picture frame that I was explicitly told I had to fill with pics of my daughters and display proudly on my desk at the office so girls get ready for a photo op.

 I got to enjoy my weekend though, with all of the devastation of the fires in Fort McMurray, all of those people left homeless and the video coverage of the everything just... gone still can't compare to the weight of sadness that all of them have to feel.

A friend asked me if it was us in that position and we had 20 mins to grab the most important things in life to me what would I take? I said my kids, everything else is material. She said her laptop as a source of communication and I realized that was not one of the things in my head. It was an afterthought for me. Of course though if there was any time at all there are many things that you could attempt to grab in 20 mins, clothes, raid the cupboards and sure a laptop among other things but that my only thought was them and they're fully grown women. The girls on the other hand would probably take as much as they could pack in and grab stuff for me because I wouldn't be thinking about it.

Looking at the movement of the fire could stop your breath. I also read that the fire could burn for months and is now 20-30km from the Saskatchewan border.

It's far from over it seems.

Seeing others rallying around them, like at Waterfront Station this morning had Firemen collecting and offered to match the donations collected today. My company as well has set up donations, people have offered their homes, units in their buildings and any space they can muster. They all seem like small things but collectively can make such a big difference.

I had to stop watching the news though because it weighed heavy on the heart.

Donations can be made to the Canadian Red Cross

I have a full week ahead of me so I hope you all have a great productive week!

See Ya.
S

Freelance Friday #1

Courtesy of  yourteenbusiness.com

So even though I have been multi-tasking and trying to get this Freelance Friday thing going I decided I would look deeper into what it entails. I'm sure you're thinking that it's pretty self explanatory. What I've found though so far is that there is so much out there and so many people that Freelance in so many different fields.

Usually when I here the word I automatically think of artists, writers, photographers ect. I've seen so many people take their hobbies and passions turning them into something bigger than they expected and although they are, they don't use the title of being a freelance anything.

What I'd like to do is create something to showcase those people. The ones that have built something for themselves and are sought after for their skills but that only answer to themselves well...and their clients.

Better yet the ones that don't answer to them either as I know there are more than a few of those. So with this I've now added even more to my plate but always aim to add something mildly entertaining and with this segment hoping to add something beautiful too.

Suggestions are always welcome!

Have a Happy Friday

S

Jello Shots and Road Gremlins

Hello Lovelies!

I hope you had a fabulous weekend! I did!

My Birthday was on Friday and I had the day off thanks to the company I work for. The hardest part about being off on Friday was thinking it was Saturday...all day. I had decided that since it was going to rain on my birthday and it does almost every year that I was going to hang out at home, consuming Jello shots until I passed out and the day was over but a change of events made the day simple and very much appreciated. 

I went out and saw my girlfriend of 38 years...38 YEARS! She's like a sister to me and so her daughter is effectively my niece. This niece of mine decided she wanted to come hang out with me for the day. Well...ok then...auntie is cool to hang out with for that 17 yr old. Once I brought her home with me and Lo, Bean and T took over from there. They latched on to each other and were thick as thieves, the brats. At one point Court ( niece ) was sitting with me while I made jello shots and I had the bright idea to take: 

Orange Jello + Mango Malibu Rum = Yummy

Strawberry Jello + Aboslut Rasberry Vodka = Super Yummy

Cherry Jello + Baccardi Black Rum = Napalm Bombs aka RED DEATH

As I made the last one, as soon as it hit my nose, I knew it was a bad idea but hey maybe it would taste ok. BAD...BAD IDEA...VERY BAD IDEA. Even as they set, every time we opened the fridge all you could smell was the Cherry Jello shots. That shit could clear your sinus' and trust me you didn't want that because you could fully smell them then.

The evening progressed with the girls helping make appies while we waited for the Jello to set. We nibbled and chatted watching Youtube videos and laughing thanks to Good Mythical Morning, Buzzfeed and that guy...Joe something or other. I always forget his name. Brina, Lo and I had decided that we would parcel out RED DEATH to any of the men that wanted to take a shot. Apparently T decided she was in that lot and we watched closely as she was the guinea pig for that experiment.

I should have took some video of the expression on her face when she pooped that tiny bit of Jello in her mouth. There was nothing good about that shot and her face said it all. The night went on until the only shots left were the ones we left behind so we just had to woman up and take them and we did. 

We held up our tiny cups, did our cheers, popped those suckers in our mouths...and damn near died.

Breathing stopped, mouths burning and brain cells exploding. it was worse than...um...I can't even compare it to anything it was that intense. When the last 4 were consumed by me, Bean, T and Lo T saying the last one was the easiest for her but for me and Lo it was the hardest. I almost couldn't swallow it. Lo made me promise at that point to never, ever make them again.

A fun time was had by all! Surprisingly enough for how drunk I was, I woke up with no hangover and raring to go.

Saturday I hung out with the girls, laughed at T because she was the only one who felt like death when she woke up and as a result hated her life. Wait Bean did too...Rookies.

My brother was here from Jamaica visiting and hadn't been here since 1995 when Bean was born so we hadn't seen him in almost 21 yrs. That was awesome Sese was her shy, silent self and Bean was...not.

Sunday was a day where I got to hang out with the boys and go to the Swap Meet in Cloverdale and I have to say it was an adventure. There was so much that happened  can't even put it all here, Missing turns, backed up traffic, cell phones left on the roof of the car to fall off and be run over later...good times and not my cell phone. He retrieved it, in pieces.

I have this thing about going to large crowed venues, The first thing we see when we get there is many upon many Motorcycles. coolest thing ever for me being my first one. The guys don't usually take me but I asked to go this year. the second thing I noticed as a typical me thing...the only...black person...there. So as you can guess there were many eyes on me. Choo asked me if it made me nervous and no it didn't at all. Scratch that the slow head turning looks did make me a bit nervous but it does no matter who you are or where I am. 

I was much more interested in being somewhere I had never been before and taking in the scene and ideas for both of my bikes.

When Choo bought me my Sportster it had a bell attached underneath to the frame. Even after I said no he took that bell because it had a Skull on it and said he would replace it, the Meet was his chance to do that. When I get the chance to customize the Sportster it will have a Wolf theme but alas they had no wolves at the table I was at so I picked up a little Celtic Cross instead, temporarily because I have to order the Wolf bell. Once I get that one I'll transfer the Cross bell to the BSA.

There is a legend of the Guardian Bell for riders but of course I forgot the simple version in my other book and as I looked for a simple explanation all I found was the whole story and it's a long story! Simply put though the bell is to protect riders from Road Gremlins that try to take you out. 

Some follow the superstition and some don't but I feel like I'd rather be safe than sorry.

Well that was a long one!

Have a great week!

See Ya 

S.