The Long Road

It's so hard to get here these days.

Work is crazy and life is too and not in a good way but super stressful and coping is tough on a good day.

It's taken me so long just to put this blog together because things keep getting thrown at me but you know what? It's not all doom and gloom, I've realized my own emotional strength and decided that I'm not going to feel sorry for myself anymore between my non-existent landlords unless they are looking for the rent, the money crisis at home and some people just not using common sense to get things done. I've done everything I can to help us stay afloat while others sort their shit out. Don't get me wrong I have shit to sort out too, sooooo much and I'm trying to do that. My problem is that when I do it's not going to make others happy because they will be forced into positions that they will have to deal with and overcome themselves.

I'm a safety net and I can't be that anymore but how do I stop?????

I only have one kid left at home now and she'll be heading to Ireland for a working holiday in a few months.

The Winter weather doesn't help either but you know what? I'm beyond caring to the point of onset depression, I can't do that anymore. Waiting for things to change on their own is not possible. I know I need to get out of the house we live in because well really no one should live in it but it was what I needed at the time to make sure we had a safe place and a roof but I need it to be on my own terms. Unfortunately affordable housing here and the ability to have your pets is virtually impossible now and I'm not willing to give up my dog or my cat so there's a hurdle or 10. With only 1 income it's going to be super tough to manage and has been all the way around already.

Things need to move forward regardless of where we live there needs to be progress.

Looking out at the snow makes me remember that I didn't get to ride much last year and so even though this will be my 3rd season of it coming I'm pretty much scared that I forgot everything. I follow several others that are in places where they are riding now and ...ya jealous. Which brings me around to helping at the Red's Famous Garage Sale and Swap Meet at Trev Deeley's hanging with the boys for the 2nd year now, meeting people and picking up a second job on weekends in the shop at Jon Armstrong's Motorcycle Repair, found a new Windsister there that's new to Vancouver and got new grips for my Sporty.

Funny though that between the 2 jobs one is Corporate and the other Blue Collar but what I really like about the fact that I'll be in the shop on weekends is that I'll get to learn not only how to take care of my bikes but how he runs his business. How did I get this new path?

I complained that he was disorganized...

Now I get to Organize his chaos... if you had seen this then you would see what  huge job this will be but that's ok, I'm game and my Sportster gets serviced and hopefully (fingers crossed) the BSA's motor will get rebuilt and I'll get to help with that.

Just call me Shop Girl.

#goals

So I feel the changes that need to happen coming like they're being pushed onto me and I've decided to go with it and not let myself get down about them because I'll end up sick or worse. I always feel better when I blog it out though and in true form that's happened. I started this off in a sad state of mind but now I feel more optimistic about things and that's why I'm here. I'll do what I have to do as usual but keeping in mind what's right for me from now on.

You can't depend on anyone other than yourself for your Happiness.

So with all that being said I'm off!

See Ya!
S

Never Have I Ever...

Been as Popsicled as I was this weekend.

We had no power, the why of why we had no power don't really matter as much (not my fault ) as the WE HAD NO POWER part.

BC Hydro rates can be crazy and as someone who has had the battle of the rates for years every Winter this is no a surprise. What was a surprise was that on a Friday mid morning we were disconnected. Usually this isn't something I would really talk about because who wants to? Changes in my thoughts recently though have told me that I shouldn't only show and talk about the things I want to but maybe a few that I don't.

Because...I'm an ordinary person with ordinary problems that are sometimes not so ordinary.

Hmm...Again it's a Monday post...I am apparently not kicking that habit. Maybe I shouldn't?

Anyway...Compared to the rest of Canada, the Lower Mainland is not that cold but when you have no heat or light it sucks and if it was colder I might not have made it through. It was bad enough. The candle light was fine but it being the same temp as outside...well...hell...no...

Poor Smokey and Oz even though they have fur were not impressed. I sent Sese to stay with Bean for the weekend and Lo to her dad's, so me and Choo had to tough it out mostly at night. I would only be at the house until maybe 10-11 am before Choo would come back from wherever he was and take me to Bean's house for some warmth and to hang with the family. her place is small but not too small. We would charge everything we had all at once. Download stuff to watch and go from there. The hardest part though was how utterly depressing it was to be at home and knowing we I had to go back there even just to sleep.

It's one thing to realize that when there is no power and you're stuck at a standstill of nothingness but it's another to realize how much you depend on and that whatever you were PVR'ing that day was not going to record. The first night you make up things to do to entertain yourself and after that there is just nothing except laying in bed to try and stay warm and hoping your nose doesn't fall off.

After some fast work. Not too fast because you know it was the weekend, this morning everything was sorted and we're back in business. Unfortunately I'm pretty sure that everything in my fridge and freezer is ruined and since I didn't open either of them the whole time I'm kind of terrified to look.

Was it -35? Nope.

Blizzard? Nope

Ice Storm? Nope

I don't even think it got below zero but that doesn't matter when your cold and can't warm up. I have to say though that our house does have a fireplace and we've been there 8 years...never used it and also never cleaned the chimney. So I'm not interested in burning the house down...even though we would be warm.

Funny the things you think of after the fact eh? I'll put it on my list as a to do before Fall and I'll forget as usual. I'm going to try not to this time though!

I know on the grand scale though that with the homeless problem we have here that I shouldn't complain because at least I had a roof and the chill was temporary but it is what it is. Something that I had to go through even though I have a decent job and have been there so long. It is not easy to survive on even what I make. To the point of me looking into a second job just to help with the outrageous rates we have to pay.

We would be classified as middle income and some months are still harder than others to get through while we steal from Peter to pay Paul and back the other way once we can. It's a viscous cycle I would love to end and I think that if I get things together this year it will be the one that makes the difference there. It's made me realize that I need to be tougher and stronger that way and make sure that something like this doesn't happen again. That's been the past 26 years of my life. Paycheck to paycheck, go without this to get that.

It's kind of surreal to go to your daughters house and have her take care of you.

Yesterday I stole a bath from her and one thing she told me the day before that was "Hot is Cold and Cold is Hot" well I forgot that and when I went to step in the bath it was ice cold...so not where I wanted to be at that point. We watched a show called Cheap Weddings and Binging with ...some guy that was pretty funny actually while I let the warmth soak in.

So we invaded and Bean looked like she loved it. Living in a house of 6-7 at any given time you get used to the social parameters that go with that so her home was full this weekend and she smiled from ear to ear. She's actually sad we have power back so she'll be making us dinner tonight before we take her sister back home to the poor snakes and hedgehog that had to suffer along with us.

Ok guys Have a great week!

See Ya
S