Alright...yes this is a random blog post!
Only because of yesterdays horrifying introduction to "Queefing" which until yesterday I had no idea that this existed on purpose with a official name.
Let me start by telling you how I came across this in the first place...
On Wednesdays I scan to web for Weird News now after posting about cool Inventions and some ledge jumpers dressed like priests I cam across something about a Queefing Competition. So I opened the link thinking "OK this should be weird because I've never heard of it."
Biggest...mistake...of my life... I will never get that time back and never unsee or unhear it. You know how as kids, boys would but their hand in their armpit and make farting noises? Well Queefing is the equivalent of that only... not using a hand and being a woman using her Vajajy to make farting noises.
K... I get that sure, air travels... everywhere but what woman thought "Hey! ( As per Stuart from MAD Tv ) Look what I can do! I'm going to make a sport out of this!" and then grabs her closest girlfriends teaches them how to suck air into their vagina and force it out AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE! Now it's one thing to hear that this is done but to see it as I did...
Let me explain...
Like I said I was cruising sites looking for weird news ( this qualifies ) so I open the link and I see 2 women standing in Howard Sterns studio ( first clue that I shouldn't have been there ) . Everything is fine and they're talking about themselves and what they do ect. Next shot one of the girls in her bra and panties we'll say, lightly squatting. What caught my eye though was the guy holding the microphone, between her legs and wearing a surgical mask because really... who wants to be in the blast zone unprotected.
Thus the fun ( for them ) began! This tiny girl half naked on stage starts well... bluntly Vaginal Farting and does this 93 times in 30 seconds! I have no idea if this is impressive or not and I'm sorry but I have NO FUCKING CLUE what I'm looking at here because frankly I'm stunned that this cute lil thing is doing something soooo...boy like? But boys can't do this hence the hootin' and a hollerin' from the largely male audience. So lil thing turns around to face the TV screen behind her and lo and behold the cast of Entourage is also watching her! Even they looked confused like their image of women has been shattered. She was mildly embarrassed um but why when you just did that in front of Howard Stern and friends!
On to the next woman...the competitor. She's was a bit larger than the starter girl but she had to have different positioning as in she laid down on the floor, legs spread facing the camera and the dude with the mask was also getting in position and THAT'S when I turned it off! I'd had enough. I mean I'm not one to really care what people do and I try not to judge. Even in this case I'm not judging them I just don't know why any woman would want to do that?
Because they can I guess?
I ask again though what woman figured out she could control that function and decided to run with it? The masked guy killed me because he looked like he really didn't want to be there...at all for this.
Anyway...you asked...I told and there you have it. My introduction to Queefing...
may we never discuss this again.
See Ya!
S
Thursday, September 18, 2014
Monday, September 15, 2014
Girls Day Out, Pulled Pork and a Meteor?
Hello Lovelies!
This is more of a Weekend Wrap Up! Only really concerns one day but meh...whatever.
Saturday was a stellar day for me and with those being so few and far between I felt I had to share. Saturdays are the only day of the week where the men are gone and the girls have the whole house to ourselves. So with that we start our day out with morning coffee out on the deck and usually me, Sese, Bean and Blondunicorn having our morning chat.
What happened last night?
What's going on today?
Who's doing what to who?
and for some reason we always end up talking about boobs...is this normal?
It is for us it is!
So our day started out with a plan. I had been talking all week about making Pulled Pork in the slow cooker so we set out to go shopping for ingredients. We had a plan to stop at the neighbourhood PUB for lunch but oh look... There's McDonald's! So that's what we did.
On the way back full of giggles and food we headed for home, once we got there though hmmm...mommy lost her shit!
Our dogs are never alone...like ever not that they haven' been left alone before but it's very very rare that there is no one home. That being said I opened the door and they had garbage trailing from one end of the house to the other. I knew which dog started it ( Whiskey ) which dog aided ( California ) and which dog thought screw it I'm in ( Smokey ) needless to say...within seconds they were all hiding under something when I saw it. The 4 of us cleaned up the mess...everywhere and then Bean and I started on the Pulled Pork by the seat of our pants. All I can say is that an entire 2litre of A&W Rootbeer was the base of this recipe and we were concerned at first with what we put together but it was the best Pulled Pork I have EVER made!
I've only made it twice! I made sure to canvass the entire house for feedback and it was all good!
Note to self though...never put potatoes somewhere you don't usually put them won't see them for a few months. Sese and Lo got quite the kick out of Bean and I trying to handle that messy problem.
Thank god they didn't have a camera recording...
So after the food buzz and the house quiet Lo and I are outside talking about the day when in the sky I saw something wink into existence that was ON FIRE! Blue ball, red flaming tail is streaking across the dusky sky. I snapped out of it with enough time to frantically get Lo to turn around and she saw the big blue ball with a golden tail of sparks right before it winked out. All of that in maybe...10 seconds! I was shocked because where we live you just don't see that and for me to catch it was AWESOME! It reminded me of how small we are though and that space FREAKS ME OUT!
In all of the excitement though, it was the cherry on my Sundae of the day.
You guys rock!
See Ya
S
This is more of a Weekend Wrap Up! Only really concerns one day but meh...whatever.
Saturday was a stellar day for me and with those being so few and far between I felt I had to share. Saturdays are the only day of the week where the men are gone and the girls have the whole house to ourselves. So with that we start our day out with morning coffee out on the deck and usually me, Sese, Bean and Blondunicorn having our morning chat.
What happened last night?
What's going on today?
Who's doing what to who?
and for some reason we always end up talking about boobs...is this normal?
It is for us it is!
So our day started out with a plan. I had been talking all week about making Pulled Pork in the slow cooker so we set out to go shopping for ingredients. We had a plan to stop at the neighbourhood PUB for lunch but oh look... There's McDonald's! So that's what we did.
On the way back full of giggles and food we headed for home, once we got there though hmmm...mommy lost her shit!
Our dogs are never alone...like ever not that they haven' been left alone before but it's very very rare that there is no one home. That being said I opened the door and they had garbage trailing from one end of the house to the other. I knew which dog started it ( Whiskey ) which dog aided ( California ) and which dog thought screw it I'm in ( Smokey ) needless to say...within seconds they were all hiding under something when I saw it. The 4 of us cleaned up the mess...everywhere and then Bean and I started on the Pulled Pork by the seat of our pants. All I can say is that an entire 2litre of A&W Rootbeer was the base of this recipe and we were concerned at first with what we put together but it was the best Pulled Pork I have EVER made!
I've only made it twice! I made sure to canvass the entire house for feedback and it was all good!
Note to self though...never put potatoes somewhere you don't usually put them won't see them for a few months. Sese and Lo got quite the kick out of Bean and I trying to handle that messy problem.
Thank god they didn't have a camera recording...
So after the food buzz and the house quiet Lo and I are outside talking about the day when in the sky I saw something wink into existence that was ON FIRE! Blue ball, red flaming tail is streaking across the dusky sky. I snapped out of it with enough time to frantically get Lo to turn around and she saw the big blue ball with a golden tail of sparks right before it winked out. All of that in maybe...10 seconds! I was shocked because where we live you just don't see that and for me to catch it was AWESOME! It reminded me of how small we are though and that space FREAKS ME OUT!
In all of the excitement though, it was the cherry on my Sundae of the day.
You guys rock!
See Ya
S
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